she blinded me with sinus

Made a good dinner. The tomato-based lamb curry again, this time with more fennel and asafoetida. I remembered not to put the yogurt in until the very end, so it didn’t separate and curdle. Also, cashews. Used Lundberg Wild Blend Rice, which is the most awesome blend of rices ever. Cucumber and sweet yellow pepper salad with a dill and black pepper sauce.

Therapy session was mostly about managing sensory overload and emotional swings from the neurofeedback.

Lately I’ve been feeling angry lately about being left out, left behind, rejected. It’s not overpowering but it is pretty constant. That, and the depressive self-hatred. I know that the amped-up bad feelings are a side effect, but that’s sort of like knowing that you’re hallucinating: only partly helpful.

I made a long bet for next year’s medical costs out of pocket and put money into an FSA. Hope that works as well as it should.

8 thoughts on “she blinded me with sinus

  1. FYI, this is the second time you’ve dropped personal pronouns when talking about cooking. Not to say I don’t do the same. I think it has something to do with discomfort over taking credit for something. Not to play therapist, or worse yet, psychoanalyticky therapist.

  2. i need you to know that asafoetida was a source of constant conversation and jokes in our old household (with julie, but julie not involved in the jokings-on).
    carry on.

    1. I seem to remember something about mother’s market and spending a lot of money on spices and bla bla bla asafoetida.
      I like Julie a whole lot but I can’t see her as an Indian Spices Fan, somehow.

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