because it is bitter and because it is my link

  1. The best thing about this video of an improvised dance party is the music. Really, that’s the best part. (big mpeg, directory of all of them at this link).
  2. I do go on about my failures as an Attempted Boyfriend, but some people fail with a style and power that amazes even me. Screencap is a 400K png here if he gets a moment of clarity and takes it down.

The preceding links were brought to you by the deep and abiding need for schadenfreude and by the neologism: “milfetoast”.

22 thoughts on “because it is bitter and because it is my link

  1. with regards to 2, MY GOD. Part of it sounds like a “smoove b” column from the onion “I will kiss you on the neck, and then we will go to a limousine which I will have hired for you. In the limousine there will be a selection of beverages.” And also, what does “totally D&D free” mean in personal ads? Like, he’s promising that his DM won’t call on a pleasant sunday and convince him that his party totally needs his 20th level monk on the day he’s promised to take his “sensual” woman out?

      1. Yeah, but at 20th level they wouldn’t be bragging about it on no craigslist
        (and the first link also gives me great joy. what the hell is that song? And the random element is hilarious…how people just kind of wander through, and eventually another fursuiter joins them. and their crazy googly cartoon dog expressions stay the same…)

      2. It sounds like there is some EuroFuck subgenre of operatic synth pop with speedmetal drums. Puts me in mind of a soundtrack to a cyberpunk porn film starring members of Burzum, or something.

      3. Just a little lyrics listening, about three minutes on the internets, and I’ve got it:
        the song is “emerald sword,” by rhapsody, from the album “symphony of enchanted lands” (1999)
        “The Italian progressive metal act’s sophomore album, originally released in 1999. Ten tracks including, ‘Epicus Furor’, ‘Emerald Sword’, ‘Wisdom Of Kings’ & ‘Heroes of the Lost Valley’.”*
        …no need to thank me – the tears of joy on your face are thanks enough.

      4. Or perhaps Lovage. It has the whole very-white-middle-aged-guy theme too, from what I recall.
        And then there’s Har Mar Superstar and Norwegian lounge electronica project Ralph Myerz and the Jack Herren Band.

  2. Milfetoast. I like it.
    As for number 2, HAHAHAHA!! heh. heh. HahahaHAHAHA! I didn’t know MBA was a verb, as in “MBAed entrepreneur”. Wow. Now I don’t feel so bad about myself.
    And – Stephen Crane, right?

  3. Wow, #2!! How does he even think someone would take that ad seriously? I mean, come ON – enormously self confident but without ego. What normal person says that about themselves?

  4. Send photos, no more creative writing plz
    I love that Tourette’s syndrome thing where you break into IMPACT word-sentences out of nowhere. It’s downright precious. Affected. Fey. Jergens. Garlic breath.

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