Talking to my psychiatrist yesterday, I told him about the neurofeedback I was going for. Of course I have a skeptical attitude; it seems very pie-in-the-sky. I told him my brother’s joke about cures due to magnetism: “Magnets are so smart and obliging. No matter what the situation, they always know how to do the right thing!”
He agreed, but he also agreed that there’s useful research and good results in some previously crazy areas. Not only is neurofeedback proving increasingly useful, but this insane thing where they implant an electrical stimulus attached to the vagus nerve has been dramatically successful in intractable depression. Yes, stimulating a big nerve, zap zap.
To make things even weirder, there are some promising results from attaching big fucking electromagnets to the skull. Hello, Mesmer!
Anyway I’m off to my phrenologist’s.
It’s starting to look like almost anything that zaps the electrochemical patterns in the brain can help. ECT works for intractable depression, too.
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ECT “works”. I know a couple people who’ve tried it, and they both said it scrambled up their memories and left them feeling a little better for about 3 weeks, and then *bam*, right back into the hospital with the suicidal depression.
TCM is actually pretty cool, even if nobody is exactly sure how it works. There’s a guy named Phil Janacek at UIC & Northwestern who’s done some interesting studies on the subject; might look him up if you’re interested.
I’d totally go for the VNS if I could get them to implant an MP3 player along with it. All you’d need would be a Firewire port and headphone & DC jacks, somewhere on your torso. You could stick an iPod-style wheel under one nipple. Shades of Ranxerox…
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Have you ever tried retrophrenology?
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Is that when they send your head back in time?
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It’s based on the theory that if you can determine a person’s personality based on bumps and divots in a person’s skull, you can affect their personality by adjusting same.
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Now lay down on the table while I grab this surgical ball-peen hammer!
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BONK OOPS I MISSED
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Also see: Loony Tunes
Would that be one lump, or two?
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I already know a cyborg.
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Vagus baby.
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what happens in vagus, stays in vagus
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