Technology professionals wanted for international nonprofit organization. Must have strong video and design skills, back-end Web programming experience, and fanatical devotion to radical Wahhabi Sunni Islam. This is a fast-paced environment requiring excellent multitasking skills. The ideal applicant will be a suicidally fanatical Muslim with 5 or more years experience managing video production and high-traffic websites while the world’s only superpower attempts to destroy him with all available resources. Benefits include full health, dental, vision, and suicide benefits including a Paradise of lithe and luscious houris. No phone calls or women.