The increased Lexapro dose seems to be a win so far. I think I do have more reserves of “I don’t give a damn”. Unfortunately I’m also sweaty and a bit sleepy, but that should be less of a problem in a week or so.
The increased stability is welcome. I still get tipped over into various bad mental states by the usual triggers, but the level of discomfort is about at “mild stomach ache”, rather than “severe nausea”. I’ll take it.
As an example, I’m having my usual Sunday night depressive crash but it’s more of a thump than a crash.
One thing I’ve noticed on the current regimen is that I am more annoying. I’m louder and I talk a lot more, and I write a lot more, and I’m more opinionated and authoritative. Being less depressed and more focused is part of it, and I’m sure that the other effects of the stimulant also contribute. I assume that this is a transitional thing, but maybe I’m headed back towards being the all-knowing blowhard I was at 21 before the Big Crisis. Hmm. Maybe I should become a rock critic again?