ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK

BARK!

My town is being invaded by sea lions.

“On Wednesday, the Newport Beach Harbor Commission debated the situation, which has taken on added urgency since 18 sea lions piled onto a 37-foot sailboat and sank it over Labor Day weekend.”

bark bark bark bark
until you could hear them all over the park

12 thoughts on “ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK

  1. One presumes that our local solution for goose overpopulation in parks— rent-a-collies dispatched at random times— doesn’t work so well for marine mammals.

  2. Orange “Republican Bastion” County
    W. would be proud- Faith-Based Pinniped Control:
    “Things got so out of hand this summer that she finally invoked divine assistance. “We’ve been praying: ‘God, please, I need a night of sleep,’ ” Schriber said.
    It worked — sort of. The sea lions recently began congregating a few houses farther down the peninsula. “I told one of my neighbors about the prayers and she said, ‘Thanks a lot, now they’re down at my house.’ ”

  3. From the article:
    ‘The portly pinnipeds, described as “voracious and unrepentant” by the Portland Oregonian,’
    In addition to really enjoying fantastic alliteration, I am amused at how apt the description is for many land-bound residents of Newps and B.I. as well.

    1. I think I was being tailgated by a Ford Voracious today
      …and have you ever met a wild animal that was repentant? What the hell, is the Oregonian hiring wine critics as wildlife writers?

      1. Re: I think I was being tailgated by a Ford Voracious today
        I don’t think I’ve met too domestic animals that were repentant period, wild or otherwise. “Forgive me, I know it was bad, but I really couldn’t help eating the cat shit – it looks like Almond Roca for dogs.”

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