chain chain chain, chain of foo

  1. Hurricanes are bad. Hypercanes are way worse.
  2. It’s not just the tech support and customer service rep jobs that have gone overseas. Your online teacher may well be in Bangalore too.
  3. BLOGGERS FLEE HURRICANE. THE BLOGGERS TOO ARE AT RISK. LET’S PUT RIBBONS ON OUR HOME PAGES FOR THE NEW ORLEANS BLOGGERS. FOLKS, I PROPOSE A BLOG AID CONCERT WITH KENNY LOGGINS. WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE…
  4. Scariest weather alert ever is behind the cut:

    Current Version Previous Version: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08
    Non-Precipitation Watch/Warning/Advisory

    000
    WWUS74 KLIX 282139
    NPWLIX

    URGENT – WEATHER MESSAGE
    NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA
    413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005

    …EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE
    MISSISSIPPI RIVER DELTA…
    …DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED…

    MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS…PERHAPS LONGER. AT
    LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL
    FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL…LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY
    DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.

    THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL.
    PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD
    FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE
    BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE…INCLUDING SOME
    WALL AND ROOF FAILURE.

    HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY…A
    FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT.

    AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD…AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH
    AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY
    VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE
    ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS…PETS…AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE
    WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK.

    POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS…AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN
    AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING
    INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.

    THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY
    THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING…BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW
    CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE
    KILLED.

    AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WATCH IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR
    HURRICANE FORCE…OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE…ARE
    POSSIBLE WITHIN THE NEXT 24 TO 36 HOURS.

    LAZ038-040-050-056>070-MSZ080>082-290300-
    ASSUMPTION-HANCOCK-HARRISON-JACKSON-LIVINGSTON-LOWER JEFFERSON-
    LOWER LAFOURCHE-LOWER PLAQUEMINES-LOWER ST. BERNARD-LOWER TERREBONNE-
    ORLEANS-ST. CHARLES-ST. JAMES-ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST-ST. TAMMANY-
    TANGIPAHOA-UPPER JEFFERSON-UPPER LAFOURCHE-UPPER PLAQUEMINES-
    UPPER ST. BERNARD-UPPER TERREBONNE-
    413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005

    …INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT…

    HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM
    FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL
    PERSIST FOR THE NEXT 26 TO 28 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL
    ONSET AROUND MIDNIGHT NEAR THE COAST AND BY 3 AM CLOSER TO THE NEW
    ORLEANS METRO AREA AND PERSIST FOR 9 TO 15 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND GUSTS
    AROUND 175 MPH ARE LIKELY IN THE WARNED AREA BY DAYBREAK MONDAY.

    DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET!

    $$

    LAZ034>037-039-046>049-MSZ068>071-077-290300-
    AMITE-ASCENSION-EAST BATON ROUGE-EAST FELICIANA-IBERVILLE-
    PEARL RIVER-PIKE-POINTE COUPEE-ST. HELENA-WALTHALL-WASHINGTON-
    WEST BATON ROUGE-WEST FELICIANA-WILKINSON-
    413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005

    …INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT…

    HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM
    FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL
    SREAD NORTHWESTWARD INTO THE GREATER BATON ROUGE AREA AND
    SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI LATER THIS EVENING. TROPICAL STORM FORCE
    WINDS ARE EXPECTED TO ONSET AROUND 9 PM TONIGHT AND PERSIST
    FOR 22 TO 26 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL ONSET AROUND
    DAYBREAK AND PERSIST FOR ABOUT 5 TO 10 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND
    GUSTS OF 80 TO 90 MPH ARE POSSIBLE IN EAST-CENTRAL LOUISIANA
    AND SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI.

    DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET!

    $$

14 thoughts on “chain chain chain, chain of foo

  1. I’m super depressed about the oncoming hurricane, despite the fact that I’m from Chicago and now live in Wisconsin and have no real ties to Louisiana. I would like to go to graduate school in New Orleans, but decided to take a year or two off before hand. It’s weird thought, three people I hadn’t talked to in a while called me today being all “Thank God you didn’t go to Tulane this year, New Orleans is going to be destroyed.” New Orleans is amazing and will seriously cry if all the Spanish moss and voodoo shops and cafe de monde beignets and cemeteries are no more. Apparently the only thing they think will survive the storm is the Superdome. So much for culture.

  2. Well Goddamn, I’m glad they’re not trying to panic people.
    UGHHH I am seriously worried; I have nostalgic ties to New Orleans and my grandparents live in SW Mississippi, about an hour away, and my parents up in central MS are expecting winds of 75-100mph. Not even last year with our 3 storms in Orlando did we have a Category 5 (charley was a 5 for like a minute before he pussed out).

  3. EYE’LL SH0W J00 4LL
    WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.
    jesus god, who wrote this? with the ellipses and caps, it kind of reads like the angry missive of some 15-year-old dinnernet goon, trying to scare everybody. he got sent to his room without dessert.
    anyway. that’s fucking hardcore. i’m kind of excited.

    1. Re: EYE’LL SH0W J00 4LL
      Yeah, that line is the one that stopped me too and made me check the url in case this was a hoax. Ellipses and caps, sure, it’s the national weather service. But YOUR SUFFERING WILL BE LEGENDARY EVEN IN HELL is more pinhead than egghead.

  4. That is a serious warning there, filled with catastrophic certainties and absolutes. Seems a bit unusual in that, but we shall see. One should not argue with the NWS.

      1. THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING…BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED.
        Totally defoliated? Totally? Come now. Livestock might end up in some defoliated trees, but they may still be mooing. Ya know? 😉

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