I coulda been an achiever.

My Adderall XR™ anti-ADD medication trial package came with a reassuring booklet, a less reassuring set of pharmacological explanations of how it might mess me up, and a fridge magnet. It’s the “Adderall™ Achievers!” package, you see.

Usually the fridge magnets and other tchotchkes go to the physicians for advertising purposes, so I was puzzled at first. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a picture frame fridge magnet. The idea is that your bad kid, who is totally humping the pooch at school and is going to die in an alley, has just become a model of studious perfection and will now get a picture on the fridge in this special frame that says: I’m an achiever!

I think some Photoshop is in order. I’ll try to think some things up. In the meantime:

achiever

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