Observed tonight: The Orange County Heterosexual Dating Uniform

For gentlemen: Very clean blue jeans, a bit baggy with turned up cuffs. Dark leather shoes of some kind, shiny. The “club shirt”, meaning a button-down collared shirt that is long enough that it cannot be tucked in, and drapes comfortably over a slight potbelly, giving the appearance of a large chest and shoulders and a flat abdomen. Slightly spiked hair with goop in it. Smirk..

For ladies: Very clean blue jeans, either hip hugging or secured with a black leather belt with a shiny buckle. Black leather shoes with heels. Lacy or diaphanously silky top that reveals the shoulders. Options here are spaghetti strap, tube top, off one shoulder (Flashdance look), etc. Shoulder length hair in some type of ponytail.

These rules are very strict. Out of maybe fifty dating couples I saw tonight, only five or six people total weren’t wearing this exact uniform.

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