Watermelon smashing brothers duel

This is too weird. On the patio the other night, a bizarre rumor came up that the comedian Gallagher had actually retired due to illness, and that he’d hired his brother to replace him but not advertised this, so that if you saw Gallagher at your county fair it was actually a different person now. Too odd!

After a few minutes of web searching, the real story is weirder.

The original Gallagher, Leo, never retired. He did indeed have a heart attack but he’s still fine and performing, showstopper fruit smash and all.

His brother, Ron, had been performing as Gallagher II. Gallagher Primary tolerated this for a few years, but then Ron started referring to himself as “the real Gallagher” and giving out autographs as his brother, telling people he was his brother, and worst of all doing the signature watermelon crush. This forced a brother against brother lawsuit in which Leo got an injunction to keep Ron from doing his act.

I can’t find the fate of Ron after that. Maybe he had to get a job at Jiffy Lube or something.

8 thoughts on “Watermelon smashing brothers duel

  1. Another solid reason to ban human cloning
    Wait, isn’t this how the Civil war got started? First Lincoln smashed fruit and then Jefferson Davis smashed fruit and then U.S. Grant distilled the smashed fruit into a high-octane Pruno and spent the next four years drunkenly shooting up the countryside? GALLAGHER II WILL RISE AGAIN!
    Also I’m thinking of that 60s Star Trek episode where the two Lazaruses from alternate universes kept battling to the death for infinity. I’m seeing two Gallaghers locked in eternal combat at the center of the universe. And I like what I see.
    I wonder if Carrot Top has any family.

    1. It just so happens that his one album was really funny.
      I note, however, that it featured a sticker indicating that it did *not* contain his “Smash Hit Sledge-O-Matic”.

  2. There was an article about the 100 greatest comedians of all time and Gallagher was #100
    I was trying to find an article with his response to his ranking because it’s freakin hilarious but I had no such luck. damn.

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