The world’s loudest family is currently at D’s. Everything they say sounds like they are calling livestock. They have two dogs which bark constantly. All of the kids have uncut mops of hair extending in all directions. Conversation:

IT’S A TYPE OF DIARRHEA BUT ITS DIFFERENT..
JJ SHUT UP, JJ EW EW, JJ
BARKBARKBARKBARK
I WANTED A NONFAT CARAMEL LATTE IS THIS A NONFAT CARAMEL LATTE I SAID I AM TALKING TO YOU IS THIS
BARKBARK BARK BARKBARKBARKBARK
YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE
OK OK OK OK FINE WANT ME TO DO IT IF YOU WANT ME TO DO IT I’LL DO IT
NOTHIN NOTHIN
HE’S NOT GONNA DO IT. IT’LL MAKE MY DAY
BARKBARKBARKBARK
WHAT KIND? WHY?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK
DO YOU WANT SOME MORE TEA??????
I DO ONE LIKE THIS AND IT HIT AND THEN ONE FELL AND THEN I DID ANOTHER. MOM? I SAID I DID ONE LIKE THIS AND THEN ANOTHER AND THEN
BARKBARK
GO, FINE. FINE. JUST GO. GO. I AM GOING TO SMOKE OVER HERE, THERE. YOU CAN JUST GO

Edit: Mop headed 14 year old kid, who looks like he’s 12, just asked 18yo hottie D’s employee Nina out on a date. [LAFF TRACK]

21 thoughts on “

    1. I’ve been having fantasies lately about the roof of the Firestone Tire across the street, a Springfield M1A1, and a night vision scope.

      1. Re: Bang.
        Hahaha, okay you HAVE to admit that we’re both right here. Look where they had to mount that scope! Zany funsters!

      2. Re: Bang.
        That’s a typical US-style CQB configuration. Similar setup on an M4 carbine:

        Having a red dot or a short cqb optic forward-mounted is intended to give you a wide range of vision while using the scope along with quick acquisition time. (Though obviously not all that great for sniping.)
        That said, that is one fugly M1A.

      3. Re: Bang.
        Be careful you’re not confusing the older M1 Garand (or M1 Carbine) with the M1A, which is a semiauto version of the M14. The M1A does kinda eject upwards, but to the right as well — around 2 o’clock. You can scope it out just fine. Here are some with traditional scopes.

  1. ha ha ha ha…
    thanks for the update…i guess i havent been really missing much, huh?
    soo….i guess you havent already noticed my comfy little spot over at the carwash. and here i thought that the sandbags where a dead giveaway… oh well:)

  2. The latest Too Much Coffee Man has a particularly relevant strip. Well each issue does really, but in this case relevant to your post.

  3. It’s really too bad I didn’t know you in 1975. Of course, you’d be 10 and probably wouldn’t want to go out drinking, but still, I was in CM then. For a day 🙂

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.