4 thoughts on “A Holiday Message from Dr. Neil Clark Warren of eHarmony.com

  1. … but only after he matches us up with our soulmates with his patented personality questionnaire…
    also, he looks a bit like Jimmy Carter. that’s not fair. I like Jimmy.

    1. Jimmy Carter could beat Dr. Neil to death with his own dismembered limbs. And I’d pay good money to see it. Jimmy Carter Ultimate Cage Fighting! Lusting In His Heart, Bustin’ You Apart! It’s a Habitat For Inhumanity!
      Um, ok, I’m done now.

  2. Unfortunately, we will not be able to skin you alive here at eHarmony. Of the people who apply to us to be flayed, about twenty percent do not flay easily in one of our exalted categories, and therefore we do not feel we can reliably find a place for you in our skinless population of creepy sociopathic type A yuppie dweebs and middle-aged women with nine children looking for a sugar daddy, jewel-encrusted velour pantsuits and a nice new TiVo. Please take your abnormal heathen perversity elsewhere before God strike you down dead. Thanks ever so. Love and kisses, Dr. Neil.

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