THE MISSES

GAZE UPON THEM.

They have Fun Facts.

There is a “Miss Placentia” and I hope she gets typo’d.

Miss Sonoma County appears to be in the fatal last stages of bulimia and/or vampirism.

Miss Yosemite Valley’s monotooth is exiting her mouth.

There is a “Cidney” and a “Tawnya”.

Miss Huntington Beach wishes to prevent reckless driving.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over here joining the Taliban.

22 thoughts on “THE MISSES

  1. Miss Orange County’s jaw can hew rock, like the mighty river.
    Miss Greater Long Beach has acquired target and gives you thirty seconds to comply.
    Miss Gavilan Hills comes from a place I suspect is invented but I would like to meet her. ^_^

  2. Miss Kerns forehead is exceeding large, riviling that of christina ricci’s.
    Also, I’d like to know why none of the Miss Orange ______ look NOTHING like the people on the O.C.!
    :::ducks multiple severe beatings to the head from everyone:::

  3. Miss Garden Grove’s (that’s Tawnya) platform is “Be A Mentor — Literally.” I don’t get it. Is Tawnya fed up with people pretending to be mentors to get chicks, or something? Or does she want us to impersonate Mentor, the wise counselor of Odysseus?

    1. hy·per·bo·le
      n.
      A figure of speech in which exaggeration is used for emphasis or effect, as in I could sleep for a year or This book weighs a ton.

      1. Re: hy·per·bo·le
        Check out the journal, I seriously doubt s/he can even pronounce/read the word Hyperbole. All their sentences end in elipses…! and lots of capital letters AHHHHH MUST CLAW OUT EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. Maybe you didn’t understand.
      I tried to get across the ironic effect I meant, but I guess I missed. A better explanation of how I feel is here.

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