Turns out you can’t buy a custom-engraved sausage.

I went to the drugstore late tonight to get some pills.

While there I was struck by the Impulse in line and purchased some “Twisted Cheetos” which were the limited edition for “Shrek 2”. They turn your tongue green.

I now have a green tongue.

For the second day in a row I have spent 8 hours straight at the coffeehouse.

You know, I could have any of those girls. Why? ‘Cause chicks dig me.