Local Character Itemizes Stuff, Things, Other Things

People post these quiz-like things where they answer questions about themselves. I find it interesting but I am an egotist so I only want to ask myself questions that I have approved in advance. Here they are.

• When I was four years old I had a near-drowning experience in a hotel pool. My brother saved me.
• I was named for Joseph Conrad and Henry James.
• I have never: inhaled a cigarette, broken a bone, been a hospital inpatient, been arrested, had a girlfriend, used illegal drugs.
• When I was a child I saw a big airplane crash at an air show. I didn’t lose my enthusiasm for airplanes but I have not been to an airshow since.
• I have lived in Southern California most of my life but have also lived in Paris (1 year and 1 summer), Toulouse France (1 summer), Venice Italy (2 summers), London (1 summer), Mexico City (1 summer), and Kansas City (almost a year).
• I was a Regents Scholar and in Honors at UCLA but was dismissed for poor academic performance.
• I once edited the entertainment section of a weekly newspaper and wrote all their pop music previews.
• I typed medical reports for six years.
• When I was 18 months old I fell off my brother’s shoulders as he skateboarded and landed on my head. I apparently bounced.
• I’ve never had a nickname, but when all my friends decided we wanted stupid nicknames in high school, I took “Dutch”.
• If you ever don’t tip or treat the server poorly at a restaurant I won’t hang with you at all after that.
• I used to play piano quite well.
• I am a Christian of the nondenominational kind but find other Christians, churches, and discussion of religion almost impossible to bear.
• I am almost always in love with someone, and it has never been a good idea. The reasons for this are unknown.
• I was completely terrified of dogs as a child. For some reason I love them now. Not sure when it changed.
• I was raised on classical music and didn’t really listen to pop music at all until high school.
• Before my first psychotherapy I lied often, washed infrequently, blamed others for all my problems, and did only what pleased me physically. None of you have met that version of me.
• When I was 15 I witnessed a suicide by train on the London Underground. I have stood a good distance from the tracks at train platforms since.
• I have political ideas and beliefs but can’t stand politics: I have a firm belief that political confrontation is almost always pointless.
• I am happiest when I am asleep, I think.