(alone in a crowd)

It was a breathtakingly gorgeous day today. Warm, flowers blooming everywhere, birds chirping, serious Spring Perfection.

I had my first EMDR session. It’s a very odd experience, similar to what I think hypnosis must be like. It’s hard to describe, but I can say it’s not bullshit. Something very odd is happening during the session. If I get a better handle on it I’ll try to describe it some time.

I’m not doing very well at work. Hard to get things done. I worry that I’ll get in trouble there.

My friends talk a lot about sex. Jokes about sex, stories about sex, stories about sexual relationships. It makes me feel left out, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. So I use humor, which is what I do to make uncomfortable things go away. We laughed, we were merry.

You’re a hard act to follow
Keeping me at arms’ length
Sapping my strength from a distance

9 thoughts on “(alone in a crowd)

  1. I know what you mean about its feeling like hypnosis. When I did EMDR, I lost all sense of time. It felt like it took about twenty minutes, but when I looked at the clock two hours had gone by. Did you have that experience?

    1. It was a short enough session ( < 1 hour ) that I didn't get that time telescoping thing, but afterwards I felt so odd. I couldn't decide whether I'd just had a good meal or been in a car accident.

  2. EMDR’s pretty heavily contested, and i am utterly unfamiliar with a subjective viewpoint on what the experience is like….i look forward to reading more as you get a grip on how to describe it, if you would.

    1. HEAVILY CONTESTED EH?? PSYCHOLOGIST FLAMEWAR!!!
      WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME TO GET A GRIP?? YOU’RE LIKE ALL THE OTHERS!! YOU THINK I’M CRAZY, LIKE MOTHER! AND THE MAN FROM THE SOCIAL SERVICES!!!
      Yeah, I’ll post what I can. It should be an interesting ride. If I am found wandering the streets making little rabbit noises I’ll have someone let you know that it Doesn’t Work So Good.

      1. Re: HEAVILY CONTESTED EH?? PSYCHOLOGIST FLAMEWAR!!!
        YAY!
        you’re YELLING at me; you know how i like that.
        i assume you don’t want to hear about the flamewars because you’d have already looked them up….and sometimes i’m so vey heavily in favor of “what works”, so i don’t suggest listening to either side until you experience it, anyways.
        keep posting!

      2. Re: HEAVILY CONTESTED EH?? PSYCHOLOGIST FLAMEWAR!!!
        oh, and the little rabbit noises would be perfectly seasonal for this weekend, don’t you think!
        squeak on!

  3. EMDR helped me a lot, and i was very skeptical at first. i hope you can get something out of it.
    your post reminded me how often i do NOT talk about sex. why is that? i must be seriosuly disturbed. yup.
    snausages!


  4. Loves got teeth and she bites so hard
    Leaving you for dead like a deadly shark
    And she doesn’t leave a lot to be saved
    I was swimming in the harbour of your smile
    Splashing in the ocean like a child
    I didn’t know what dangers lurked there
    Just beyond the waves – Shark attack!

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