Chicken Soup for the Middle-Aged Man on the Flying Trapeze

I had a Brain Inventory today. Hils asked how I was doing on toner. Actually it was funny (haw) because I had left my wallet at D’s right before the appointment with the psych doc and when I filled out the Brain Inventory one of the questions was “Do you frequently lose important objects?” YES OFTEN.

This therapy is right on the borderline between New Age Bubblehead and Science, which is probably good for me in a number of ways. It’s genuinely holistic, in that she looks at all sorts of causes and cures for the brain rot I seem to have. I’m not sure how I feel about all of it (when people talk about things like nutritional supplements I get nervous), but the EMDR bit and some of the attention to things like diet and exercise make sense.

I was sent off to buy some pop psych book with a title like SQUEEZE YOUR BRAIN, SQUEEZE YOUR BALLS that I have not started yet to read.

EMDR sounds like Modern Therapeutic Phrenology but you know, I’m about to try anything that doesn’t involve Scientology or psychic surgery at this point.

Also, no exorcists thanks.

My latest theory on human relations is that communication is actually impossible and that our insistence to the contrary is a form of near-universal hominid psychosis. Please do not steal my Nobel Prize/Macarthur Grant for this one.

2 thoughts on “Chicken Soup for the Middle-Aged Man on the Flying Trapeze

  1. Be careful of the nuts/brain connection. I wonder how much they are related.
    I dreamed that you came to see me at my grandparents’ house last night, where I was stuck for some crazy reason. I don’t know how you knew I was there.
    I sure hope the EMDR thing helps. I have heard about it, and have even thought about looking into it for some of my deep body image problems. I’m sort of nervous though, what with all the other stuff that is fucked up… I mean, what it if one thing messes up the other? I dunno. I’ll wait and see what happens to you first. 😉
    With warm hearts I offer my hot cross buns, and my greetings, and I hope
    this letter meets you in good pants. It will be surprising to you to
    receive this proposal from me since you do not know me personally except for that episode in stall three with the candlestick and the butter and the holy gods

  2. i found EMDR quite helpful. but then again, i am certified out-of-my-fucking-gourd. perhaps emulating anything i’m doing would be unwise. but it did help, and i can’t quite say why. it certainly seems like rubbish. but it wasn’t.
    stealing your nobel/genius grant would by its very nature imply that you communicated your idea to me which would fuck the entire thing up.
    i am using the f-word with alarming fucking frequency this evening.
    i hope you get something from what you’re doing that helps you. maybe i should try the brain inventory. i suspect there’s been shrinkage.

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