First the goat, then the cat.

Once, Southerners worshipped Jesus Christ, who was a good and kind man. They saw him in their pudding, in the rust on the screen door, and in the clouds. And all was well. Then, they worshipped Elvis, who was a good but troubled man. They saw him in the soup, driving by in a truck, and in the patterns of oil in puddles. And all is well.

Now they worship an asshole NASCAR driver who was mainly known for forcing others out of the way. All is not well. However, if your animal has a “3” on it, sell tickets.

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