kennfusion reminded me of this problem

Pet peeve: people who think that “everyone in Southern California” or even more amusingly “Everyone in California” is superficial, obsessed with beauty and wealth, and in shallow pursuit of someone to use.


Dear The Everyone Else:

Southern California is a large place full of many types of people, including but not limited to: Longshoremen, 85-year-old Armenian Ladies, Russian Jewish Immigrants, aerospace engineers, respiratory therapists, Foursquare Gospel deacons, industrial laborers, Mexican-American lesbians, lots and lots of Korean people, and an assortment of shallow, beauty-obsessed twits who moved here because they thought that’s what we were about.

Do not believe your TV. That last group is small and insignificant to the rest of us.



P.S. And if you include all of California, please note that Redding, Needles, Salinas, San Bruno, Porterville, Hemet, El Centro, and Auburn have very little to do with the Melrose Place lifestyle either.

15 thoughts on “kennfusion reminded me of this problem

  1. slight correction
    While visiting Auburn over New Years, I did attend 1 (one) debutante ball, 3 (three) beach parties (although nowhere near the beach) and drank a white wine spritzer with Andrew Shue at his inland meth lab.
    of course I’m just kidding about the white wine spritzer, I don’t drink.

  2. Nose-rubs to you from me and mine in our ice-bound igloo. Hopefully the moose will clear out before tomorrow so we can harvest the maple syrup.

    1. …and hugs from all of us vegan, granola-eating, microbrew-drinking, tree-hugging, dog-loving hippies up in Teh Rainy Pr0tland.
      Our average annual rainfall is less than that of a bunch of cities, including Houston. We have one of the highest concentrations of burger stands in the nation. The microbrew thing is kind of true, though…

      1. Fuhgettaboutit!
        Here in New Joisey, we provide an entertaining series of tollbooths to impede the progress of New Yawkers silly enough to want to visit Philadelphia. If they can make it past the great herds of Ford Mustangs and primer-grey Camaros driven by men who all seem to be named Tony or Vinnie, we’ll bog them down in pine thicket or poison them with the drinking water at the rest stops, the contents of which read like an Organic Chem glossary.
        Or sometimes, we trap them altogether … hey, folks who work in those cities need somewhere to sleep! Hell, if they really want to move up in the world, they may even learn how much money can be made in the “sanitation business.”

  3. Wez’n Norco, bastard locale next to Chino have us a Christmas boat parade every Christmas. Dar buds misses decors da’or boats real nice with lights and all. But wez gots no water’n hole or ocean so wez pull da boats, mostly 454 big block speed boats with 32 cup holders for da beer, on trailers to neighborhoods with our Chevy Silverado’s. Da misses drives da truck doh so Billy and I can party in da boat and WHHEEHOOO! to all da no boat-own’n neighbors. Da local sherrif gots himself a rig to so der ain’t any problems with da beer law.

    1. I will have you know, there IS in fact a lake in Norco…I work there. 😛 I’m sorry, did I just say that out loud? Um…if you need me, I’ll be driving my Chevy Silverado back to Costa Mesa to go hide under my rock.

  4. West Point is not Upstate NY
    All of NY is not New York City, it only encapsulates a small part of the state and no I don’t live there, no I am not close to it either. Where I live is rural, like farms and we just got that lectricity thing last year.
    And for the people who do live there, West Point is not “Upstate”
    You may continue with your Law & Order reruns now.

  5. This is great, but I guess you forgot about the people who think that southern California is just full of scary Latino and African-American gangstas, and those who assume that SoCal is full of dirty vegan hippies.

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