American Health (irc funnies)

ignatz: ow peppermint extract
ignatz: again, peppermint tea is QUITE ENOUGH
stimps: some people don’t get it
ignatz: Here, try this glass of wintergreen extract oops dead
stimps: IF A LITTLE IS GOOD THEN LET ME KILL YOU

stimps: zot
tuliphead: if x is good, then 10x must be great
tuliphead: loses
ignatz: yeah, like the customer at Mother’s who tried to do a drug purification with goldenseal and shat out his own colon
tuliphead: aaaaaaaaaaa
pea: ababababababab
stimps: holy moly
tuliphead: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
tuliphead: aaaaaaaaa
tuliphead: a
ignatz: T DUMBASS, COLON PROLAPSE IS NATURE’S WAY OF SAYING YOU’RE A LAMER
stimps: iggy: that is so distressing
ignatz: yes
tuliphead: officially squicked here
ignatz: I think they have to put it back in with a plunge or something. It’s just not a good way to spend your day.
stimps: holy erm crap
ignatz: health food store customers are the best
stimps: yeah
ignatz: also: appleseed tea guy, woman who bathes in ginger, and “No water in my hair products” people
stimps: ION SALT LAMP NO REALLY IT’S IMPROVING THE ENVIRONMENT AND YOUR CHAKRA
stimps: yeah
ignatz: bitter melon enemas
stimps: see, have some bitter melon curry, folks
stimps: I guess it’s like anything, some people just go BUGFUCKO
ignatz: It’s America. Too much is just enough.
stimps: HIGH COLONIC, GRAPESEED CLEANSING
ignatz: Supersize it! I want ultra strength! Give me Professional! Gold! Super! Oh GOD THIS IS A BIT TOO STRONG FOR ME MY BALLS FRIED OFF
stimps: haha
ignatz: this has 150,000 percent of the recommended daily vitamins! Why can’t I breathe or move? What’s a kidney?
stimps: THEY CALL ME MR. ORANGE BECAUSE I ONLY EAT BETA CAROTENE ALSO I CANNOT TALK BECAUSE MY TONGUE IS 10X ITS NORMAL SIZE
ignatz: WELL I WAS POWERING DOWN SOME ULTRA-FIBER 9000 PROTEIN ATKINS DRINK IN MY SUV WHEN SURPRISE SURPRISE I SHAT INTO 6 OF MY 9 CUPHOLDERS AND NOW I’M PRETTY MUCH MACROBIOTIC. TRY THESE WHEATLESS WHEAT THINGS, THEY’RE GREAT FOR YOUR VULVA!

5 thoughts on “American Health (irc funnies)

  1. The swelling power of colon botox injections wil help prevent the threat of spatting out your colon under extreme goldenseal cleaning treatments. It really packs a punch! Use only as directed.

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