john, i’m only dancing

Jared and I have an interesting “grass is greener” friendship. Sometimes when we’re talking it seems like we want to be each other, and then we both laugh as we realize it.

I went to the Macaroni Grill tonight and expected it to be awful, but it was ok. The saltimbocca was, anyway; I avoided the big pasta dishes. Bad Italian food is a terrible thing, because real Italian food is so transcendently good.

I’m so much of a fool lately that I can’t hardly keep track of which kind of fool I am. I hope the good kind of fool triumphs o’er the bad kind.

Coming up PCH from Capistrano with Matthew Sweet, Richard Thompson, the Furs, Buzzcocks, and the Kinks keeping me kompany felt good, especially after all this social anxiety lately. I think i have somehow become 16 again. Anyone notice my voice changing recently?

I might go on a drive to nowhere tomorrow night late. Anyone wanna go? Alternatively, come over and I’ll make everyone a big salad. I got to talking about caprese again today and I’m thinking obsessively bout roma tomatoes, fresh wet buffalo mozzarella, basil, olive oil. Like, a 55 gallon drum of caprese.

I can listen to a really depressing Richard Thompson song like “The End of the Rainbow” or “How I Wanted To” and feel better. I realized tonight that it’s because Dave Mattacks hits the drums like he’s using a nailgun, bam bam bam, and he’s actually stitching my universe back together. Thank God for good drummers; without them, I’d be useless gelatin.

Easy to fall
harder you stall
starts to slip away
drunk and in love
out at a club
holding a neon sign

12 thoughts on “john, i’m only dancing

  1. I still can’t figure out why slit-your-wrists-cos-life-sucks music makes me more okay with my sadness..
    it’s one of two things:
    “hey, their life sucks more than mine!”
    “I really am only happy when it rains..”

  2. Dave and I plan on driving to the Travel Center in Arven tomorrow, if you want to come. That really is in the middle of nowhere, but they’ve got a Burger King, Taco Bell and a souveneir shop under one roof!

  3. when i’m down, i always pick my most melancholy music to listen to. Jeff Buckley, Grant-Lee Phillips .. stuff i’ve probably cried to at some point. but it makes me feel better. something about the intensity of emotion? i dunno. i wear my heart on my sleeve.

  4. I think jared and I might have a “the grass is brown over here, what the hell?” relationship.
    I don’t want to work at night.
    Please call them and tell them I have flown the coop.
    Become deceased.
    Bought the farm.
    Etc.
    <3

    1. wise man once say (7-11 store clerk) “the grass is greener where you water it… crazy white people”
      I’m of the opinion that no matter the color of our grass, it will be fun grass.

  5. The hurt gets worse and the heart gets harder
    I wish we lived near each other so we could be real live friends instead of whispery digital shadow-friends like we are now. That way I could go to your house and eat caprese, which would be nice.
    Among the sad music that makes my life better is, of course, lots of Warren Zevon, but especially “Never Too Late For Love.”
    You say you’re tired
    How I hate to hear you use that word
    Every time it hurts

    By rights this should not make me feel better, but it usually does. Also, of course, “Accidentally Like A Martyr.”

    1. Re: The hurt gets worse and the heart gets harder
      I used to just listen to the whole of Excitable Boy (the album). It usually hits me as more insane than sad. For some reason that made me feel better.

      1. Re: The hurt gets worse and the heart gets harder
        That Excitable Boy is primarily insane is undeniable. Amidst the insanity, the sweet poignancy of “Accidentally Like A Martyr” and “Veracruz” sticks out like Marilyn Munster in a family portrait. Never thought I’d have to pay so dearly for what was already mine…

  6. hehe
    i’ll trade you your cooking ability, with my suave way with the ladies (i love it when im lauging at what im typing). You know i’d be getting the better end of the deal don’t you.

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