List of thingies

I have always had a crush on someone or other. So far none of my crushes have been good ideas. Wonder if that’ll ever change?

I hereby start the theory that the Loch Ness Monster makes a sound that is identical to the opening of the Rolling Stones’ classic hit “Sympathy for the Devil”. Including the bongos.

If I could be a cartoon character I’d be Binky from Matt Groening’s Life in Hell because I am, already. No LJ quiz is necessary.

I’m a pretty angry person a lot of the time, but I haven’t been physically violent since I got jumped by a bum in 1995. The mere suggestion of violence leaves me twitchy and unbalanced for a week or so. Even violence in movies makes me feel like I’m the one who got beaten up.

I’ve seen a big plane crash and a suicide, both before adulthood. I still like airplanes and I’m still against suicide.

When people tell me I should do X or Y or Z about the problems I’m so worked up about, I get upset. Sometimes this is just because advice is generically upsetting. Also, quite often they’re suggesting consolation prizes of various kinds instead of actual happiness. “People like you sometimes make do with this prosthesis!” or “Sometimes hapless losers in your position go to a special kind of meeting in a rehab facility and receive binders full of information on how to be mediocre!” I call this Special Olympics Gold Medal Syndrome. I hate broken shit, mediocre stuff, and all the other consolations given out to losers. This is, in fact, nasty snobbery on my part, and also a fine defense against actually fixing anything. I’m rather proud of it, as one might be proud of a particularly outstanding goiter.

When I’ve read a long book, I write in the same style as that writer for a while afterwards, sometimes for months. It’s like garlic sweating out.

We live as we dream, alone.

14 thoughts on “List of thingies

  1. most advice–to ME–subtly implies that you are really too pathetically stupid to have already thought of the obvious solution.
    so i try my best to stay away from giving it (except when i don’t).

  2. When I’ve read a long book, I write in the same style as that writer for a while afterwards, sometimes for months. It’s like garlic sweating out.
    I so do the same thing. And if I read a couple different books with very different styles while working on a project for some time, it ends up a mish mosh of stylistic influences…which usually do not work.

  3. Honk honk!
    Might I add Sympathy for the Devil on bagpipes & bongos, or is that too much? =)
    Being manic-depressive makes it too hard to figure out what cartoon character I am, because depending on the moment, you can be any number of them. Ren & Stimpy both, depending on the situation. Milk & Cheese when I’m doing baaad things. I think I would most like to be Gerald McBoingBoing, who discovers that his terrible “handicap” is actually a benefit, and ends up making money doing it. Anyone around want to hire a crazy person?
    I feel pretty much the same about violence. The last bad thing I did was kick in a wall (I think that was after I slugged that guy). I feel stupid and bad and unbalanced for a long time after too. I was also unmedicated. Note to self: don’t be unmedicated.
    I react to people telling me what to do badly as well, but for even snobbier reasons… I rarely think anyone is smarter than I am, so why should I listen to them? Pat answers, not seeing the human behind the “problem”… hurp. I tend to prefer to end up doing nothing rather than doing something that is bland and stupid. “But no really, you can join our anti-agoraphobia group, we meet wednesdays in our soccer mom jogging outfits and go for walks in malls”… hurrrrrr.
    I find myself talking like the author writes, as well. =)
    Honk. At least I have an insanely interesting dream life to make up for my normal one. I have a happy life, undoubtedly, but flying is hard to beat.

  4. Kick it
    I require that you take up taiqi, altho I also require that you call it “Chinaman Slo-mo Battle-Yoga”.
    My reasons for these requirements are inscrutible. I will merely allude to the importance of doing the Chinaman Slo-mo Battle-Yoga in front of the cat, for her scrutiny.

      1. oh, that’s just my cowardly way of saying that even though you post this stuff publically, i never actually feel free to say what i think about it because it might be construed as advice and/or might be subject to the “nasty snobbery.”
        i like the way you write, though.

    1. Re: read any good books lately
      I’ve been deliberately avoiding the style of Cintra Wilson, whose very good book “A Massive Swelling” is also so thoroughly overwritten that I don’t want it to infect me.

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