Oh and by the way I’m totally screwed

I’m posting too much today but I did want to mention to the universe that my lab results are back and I *am* indeed doomed: glucose 192, high cholesterol, high bp, sugar in the urine, etc.

So I have to lose vast amounts of weight and probably take a little pill that makes me feel funny. Or die.

A few numbers on a piece of paper have me scared shitless. Which is probably what I needed.

You know it makes sense, don’t even think about it
Life and death are just things you do when you’re bored
Say fear’s a man’s best friend
Say fear’s a man’s best friend
Say fear’s a man’s best friend
You add it up it brings you down

–John Cale

10 thoughts on “Oh and by the way I’m totally screwed

  1. eep eep
    I know what you mean about having the fear… I am being motivated by that myself lately. Blurf. It’s very hard for me not to weigh myself every day right now. Hurr.

    1. Re: eep eep
      Yeah, there’s GAWRSH I’D LOVE TO FIT INTO MY PROM DRESS AGAIN MICKEY!!1! and then there’s a set of numbers that says: change or die, you’re at a fork in the road.
      I’m shvitzing.

      1. Re: eep eep
        Yeah, especially when diabetes got my grandfather back when I was about 7… I think he was only 65 or so when he died. =/ And I am shaped much much more like he was than my grandmother, lemme tell you.
        You got any specific plans about what you’re going to do yet? I’ve been doing pretty well on the exercising every day thing so far. Also cut out cola beverages and constant sugar influx. Hurp. I’m tired all the time though. Can’t stand diet colas though. Oh well.

      2. Re: eep eep
        Exercise; no sweets; less carbohydrates; more vegetables; panic; more exercise.
        I think that covers the plan 😉
        Oh, and panic.

  2. Um.
    Totally not cool with the ignatz dying part of this journal. Very distressed and feeling a touch of panic myself.
    (just talked to you online and panic somewhat subsiding)
    for the sake of your millions of fans defining “or die” a bit more rigorously might help. Sounds like you are in for a year of rabbit food and sweating and then you probably will be okay…?

    1. Re: Um.
      Yeah, but if I fuck it up I get to go on lots of meds and probably die early after a long painful disaster of a life. So my plan is not to fuck it up.

      1. Dude.
        And then, “DUDE.”
        You’re one of the 5 coolest people I’ve ever met. You introduced me to the joy of greeting strangers by tossing narcoleptic badgers at them. You’re gonna be around for a long time, or me and the universe will have words.
        Prayin’ for you, and the whole deal.
        –j

      2. For what it’s worth, I’ve had all kinds of bad numbers for years, and I’m not dead yet.
        In fact, I had the realization that my parents (who’ve been around for quite a while now) haven’t lived this long by being healthy, but by surviving being sick.
        This isn’t to tell you not to get on the ball about this, but more to tell you you shouldn’t let it get to you while you do.

  3. you’ve probably already heard tons of advice and whatnot, so i’ll keep it short and sweet: hang in there, stay constant and take it one day at a time. we’re all behind you!

  4. yo, i will tell you about my food bitch. she is like ancient and not near dead yet altho she wishes she were. her cholesterol is 240 AND SHE IS A VEGETARIAN. she ets like lettuce w/ mrs dash on it and tofu AND SHE IS 30 LBS HEAVIER THAN SHE WAS IN JANUARY. but she want me to tell you to watch out for the blood sugar thing. get it under control and then start looking into the natural shiznit. she made her father take chromium and billberry and his blood sugar dropped like 50 points. she want you to know that they now make sugar free hershey chocolate so all is not lost. i am a cat so i don’t et chocolate.

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