DEAR AMERICA!

http://www.observer.co.uk/worldview/story/0,11581,845725,00.html

Osama’s letter to us is an interesting read. I feel like saying to him “You have some valid points and criticisms here, Sam, but why do you muck it up with anti-Semitism, pseudoscience, medieval theology, and other insanity? Rework this and you could have a B paper, but right now you are not going to pass the class.”

7 thoughts on “DEAR AMERICA!

  1. The letter seems theatrical, not intended for the USA, but for those who already support him. You would think there would have been an English translation first if he was concerned about communicating to the USA.
    The inflammatory list of America’s evils, including supporting gambling… it’s all irrelevant, unless he’s going to blow up Las Vegas next.
    I find myself once again somewhat in uneasy sympathy with the arguments of a known homicidal lunatic. (Last time it was the Unabomber.) I even wish he’d gone into more detail on the double standards of Israel versus Iraq — violation of UN resolutions, nuclear program.
    However, given the example of Afghanistan, we already know what sort of country bin Laden would create if he had the chance – a combination of 1984 and 984 AD.
    This “why we fight” letter is bogus. His terror campaigns (IMO) obviously have no direct political goal with the USA. It’s already taken a year for him to make his list of demands to the oppressors, after the fact! His agenda is political, to gain support within Muslim-dominated countries.

  2. Mr. Bin Laden, Pot. Kettle. Black. Also, total war is not a good PR strategy. For more effective campaigns against oppression see the following: Gandhi, King,Pankhurst, Morgan, Steinem et al. Furthermore, you might get wee tad farther with shrub if you two could start looking at your common goals: taking away women’s rights, having very large weapons, smearing the lines between church and state, clamping down on free speech. Just because you’re jealous that you’re not the leader of the free world, doesn’t mean the two of you can’t work together.

  3. Crimes against prose
    The prose is unspeakable. Melting some buildings in NY, I can overlook that. But that prose? NEVER. Never indeed should we cease to begin looking upon it, and laugh at its risibility and despair at its despairworthiness, should we?

  4. Dear Mr Bin Laden…
    First of all, what said.
    Second of all, what said.
    Third of all, what said; repeated because I know you’re a woman-heter and are loathe to listen to them – (and thanks, Kate, for reinforcing some of my more paranoid “they’re in it together” conspiracy theories…)
    Beyond that, I admit that I have not read your whole rant. I would love to cite the reason the anonymous poster did, but the fact is the passage I did not get beyond because I was too busy gut-laughing was:
    “The people of Palestine are pure Arabs and original Semites. It is the Muslims who are the inheritors of Moses (peace be upon him) and the inheritors of the real Torah that has not been changed. Muslims believe in all of the Prophets, including Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all. If the followers of Moses have been promised a right to Palestine in the Torah, then the Muslims are the most worthy nation of this.”
    So let me get this straight:
    So at some point a bunch of…what? ROMANS? got together and said “Hey, wouldn’t it cheeze everyone off if we pretended to be the Jews of the old testament and so we don’t have to follow the customs of our host country, thereby opening us to millenia of oppression, fear, and prejudice until some coke addict with a funny moustache slaughters millions of us and after we are liberated we can take over our “homeland” to the chagrin of the current population thus ensuring an almost constant state of violence? Gee, that would be GREAT. We could really pull the wool over everyone’s eyes with that one!!!”
    Sorry; You’re going to have to do better than they’re making this shit up as an argument…
    Agreed that the Palestinian problem really sucks for everyone involved, but you’re a Saudi and a rich one (by birth anyway) – what the fuck do you care? I’m not buying this “brotherhood of Arabs” bullshit. You’re basically the Saudi equivalent of some Weather Underground kid – some spoiled brat who didn’t like that he was ‘the man’ that the opressed were always going on about and so decided to make some idea he read in a book be more important than the life of the guy next to him.
    In short, not buying the ‘holy man-freedom fighter’ bull. You’re a dick. Have fun storming the castle…

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