Eunuchs programmer

landsend.com has this thing called “virtual model” wherein you put in your height and weight and nose shape and a bunch of other body metrics and it then generates an unearthly, bizarre image of yourself which you can dress up in their clothing.

Fashion goals…

  • Accentuate the vertical line of your body.
  • Reduce the appearance of volume at all levels

Do’s:

  • Choose three button jackets to elongate your silhouette.
  • Regular point collars and wide lapels are best.
  • Vertical stripes, small prints, and dark solid colours are ideal.
  • Stick to supple, light to medium weight fabrics.

Don’ts:

  • Avoid horizontal stripes and large pattern prints.
  • Stay away from stiff, bulky or heavy weight fabrics.
  • Spread or round collars will accentuate your roundness.
  • Try to stay away from tops and bottoms in contrasting colours, as this will break the vertical line of your silhouette.
  • Don’t wear clothing that is too tight but remember, clothing that’s too baggy adds excess volume.

11 thoughts on “Eunuchs programmer

  1. Get the most out of fashion!
    You have a very well proportioned body that allows you to wear almost anything. So go ahead and wear the styles you love!
    OKAY BUT I WARN YOU LATEX MAKES ME CHAFE SO

  2. Reduce the appearance of volume at all levels
    i love the way these assholes word things. I should take the virtual model, it will probably tell me to “disguise lack of voluminous curves in chest cavity”

  3. Garrison Keeler and a Prarie Home Companion was brought to me by the friendly people at Land’s End. Landsend.com brought me a person with a lot more muscle and build than I really have. Whether I put in my real weight, or back it down slightly to “98lb weakling,” I still seem to have some pretty good muscletone, according to their system. Instead, I built my own:

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.