Tag: yow

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

Courtesy yoscott. Also: these people need to hire a specialized employee called a “newswriter.”

FLYING HOG HITS VAN
By Rosa Duarte
WSLS NewsChannel 10
Thursday, October 5, 2006

A family van catches on fire after hitting a flying hog.

Only charred remains is all that’s left of the van. Lisa Hancock says she was driving back home from church Tuesday night with her husband and son, when a 500 pound hog crossed the road in front of them on Route 21 in Wythe County.

Another car, driving in the opposite direction hit the hog first, sending the animal flying on top of the hood of the mini van.

Lisa says the flames began to spark out of the hood after the impact, that when she and her family got out. The driver of the other car wasn’t hurt, both cars were totaled.

The person responsible for the damage is the farmer who owns the hog, the farm is down the road from where the accident happened.

what a week (local)

Tonight I almost ran over an entire pack of ironically metalled-out 20somethings who were tittering across the street after a Scorpions concert at the fairgrounds. The cops were having a joyous time arresting them all for misdemeanor irony. Aren’t the Scorpions, like, 60 years old now?

Looking through the police blotter I see that:

  • There was a drive by shooting around the corner from my house (East Bay St.)
  • Someone found the remains of a bound and decapitated lamb, which appeared to have been sacrificed by some loons celebrating the Solstice (way to handle your GOTH PARTY, assholes!).
  • Some local buffoons put an ad on Craigslist selling very illegal fireworks and all got arrested. Bonus points: the ringleader, teen henchman #1, and teen henchman #2 all have Myspaces so we can laugh at them.
  • A local couple were convicted of slavery this week. That’ll look awesome when you apply for a job at Wendy’s after you get out. Please list your felonies on this form.
  • There are two separate ongoing criminal cases at once right now of guys who licked people’s feet.

On the plus side, my friend Craig made it into the Weekly for being a 581% insane hardcore bicyclist. He’s clearly made from liquid metal.

Inland Empire Update: Homemade Mining Operation Considered Harmful

Montclair gold hunter digs 60-foot-deep hole in front yard

MONTCLAIR, Calif. (AP) A homeowner digging for gold in his front yard said he got “carried away” and ended up with a 60-foot-deep hole, authorities said.

Henry Mora, 63, began digging two weeks ago after his gold detector picked up a signal near his front patio.

“I figured, well, maybe there’s something down there you would logically conclude, right? So I started digging,” the semiretired musician said Wednesday.

Mora said he only intended to go down 3 or 4 feet, but he started finding gold dust in the dirt and the detector kept hinting that he was getting closer.

“It was still beeping, and that just gave me the idea to keep digging,” he said. “I think it’s a normal human reaction, especially when you think there might be gold down there.”

A neighbor who saw the mound of dirt growing on Mora’s lawn became concerned and called authorities Tuesday. Fire officials responding to the home found two men inside the unreinforced hole, using a bucket and rope to remove dirt. Mora had hired the two men to help him.

“We told him, ‘You’re done,”’ Montclair fire Capt. Rich Baldwin said. “It’s amazing no one got killed.”

Authorities fenced off Mora’s property and ordered him to hire an engineer to safely pack the dirt back into the ground.

Mora acknowledged his search for buried treasure was getting “totally out of hand.” Yet when asked whether he regrets starting the dig, Mora was conflicted.

“In a way yes, and in a way no,” Mora said, “because I think there’s still gold down there.”