In the middle of the Gulf Coast remix of the Raft of the Medusa, we have the oddly synchronistic criminal “failure” of a hedge fund called Bayou, as beautifully reported by the Wall Street Journal. Entire latest article is behind the cut, because it’s sorta long. Here are the salient points for TL;DR purposes:

1. $60 million “unaccounted for”!
2. $101 million turned over to a gang of Arizona con artists who said they’d make up the shortfall for the fund manager!
3. Fund manager’s attorneys have withdrawn from the case due to unspecified ethical considerations. Read: Oh shit we can’t defend this guy, oh shit he’s so fucking dirty, oh shit shit shit!
4. Sham accounting firm! Sham accounting firm! Sham accounting firm!
5. $3.5 million in Spongebob Squarepants checks!
6. CFO writes suicide note, is checked into mental hospital!

I tell ya if we’re gonna fix this country, we have to run it like a business. That means into the ground after looting it, in case you’re curious.

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