I expect you to die, Mr. Bond!

henry t hyde

Meet Henry T. Nicholas, local billionaire and James Bond villain. Henry was the head of Broadcom, a big microchip company. Henry stands six foot six, has a dungeon under his house, slips Ecstasy to unknowing dinner companions, does meth and coke, has a prostitution problem, has armed guards patrolling his home, and flies around in a private jet with the drugs and the prostitutes. At least, this is what the prosecutors and some angry associates say, and some of it is beyond denial, in particular the dungeon. He is also on the hook for securities fraud at his company.

Christ, what an asshole. But just look at the guy! Wow!

Details, lurid and otherwise, are in this nicely done Vanity Fair article

someone likes someone who’s a regular at BG

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/mis/762771057.html

“You have blue eyes and wavyish brownish hair. your eyes are very light. You are about 5’10. Medium body, not tall and skinny, mans body.face kind of little red from sun. Seem like 40ish. Seem a little serious or shy. You have a dog sometimes. One time saw you with a woman. Did not look like anything serious. You are so handsome not cute, but do not act like it. i think i have seen you on thursday nights. what is you name.
new coffee shop that used to be diedrichs on 17th. “

HEY EVERYONE BARGAIN GARAGE SALE EVERYTHING MUST GO

OWNERS OF SWINGERS CLUB SELL FURNISHINGS

Nalder and Wood advertised sale items on craigslist this past week, including a 600-pound ice maker, 26 double, queen and king-sized five-inch thick foam pads and a steel-framed bed with headboard lights.

The posting stated the club was moving to a new location and down-sizing.

Outside the building, several wooden boards covered with black and purple felt lay against a retaining wall. Six automobiles and a motorcycle were in the parking lot, including a truck pulling a storage unit.

Hmm, five inches. Would that be thick enough to AUGH WHAT AM I THINKING

He also wore highwater pants or bad shorts constantly.

jeffy

Today I ended up at the Wikipedia page for “The Seduction Community,”. I recommend it; it’s an ever-flowing fount of hilarity.

I got there via the page for Ross Jeffries, Speed Seduction Guru and possible model for Tom Cruise’s character in Magnolia.

Jeffries was hanging around UCLA when I was a student there. He was the constant gadfly/attention seeker/twat at EVERY political or musical event. As soon as you saw that guy you knew something lame would happen. One of the best moments of my time there was when one of my friends in the dadaist organization called the Perfect Students Union threw a pig snout at him.

They were giving out pig snouts on Bruin Walk as part of their campaign for student body president.

They gave one to Leonard, the singer from the Dickies, as he was performing at the noon concert that day, and he had it in one hand while he had Stewart, his penis puppet, in the other as he sang “If Stewart Could Talk.”

You know, I Leonard has to get a lot more of whatever kind of sex he wants than Jeffries does.

When I saw the Speed Seduction guy on TV for the first time, I was shocked silent. The possibility of That Guy getting laid at all, much less writing a howto book on the subject, could not be considered. My guess is that he pays for it and needed to write the books to cover his expenses at whatever version of the Emperor’s Club he patronizes.

In other news, guys are all 12

WHAT KIND OF SYRUP

Caption of the day and/or News QOTD of the day from the Orange County Register:

“Craig Gross, founder of XXX Church.com, next to a stack of “Jesus loves a porn star” Bibles that his staff handed out at the AVN Adult Expo in Los Vegas in January. This weekend, Gross is coming to Huntington Beach for one of the organization’s signature events: Porn and Pancakes.”

At least they have pancakes.

D.H. Lawrence’s Ashes: What the Heck Happened To Them?

My dad told the one in which Lawrence’s widow Frieda and her Fascist Italian army officer lover left Lawrence’s ashes at a railway station platform in an excess of passionate disorganization. Some of the other stories are below.

  1. LAWRENCE was buried in the old Vence cemetery on a March 1930. His remains were exhumed in March 1935 in the presence of Mrs Gordon CROTCH, an English resident, and incinerated at Marseille on March 13. A wooden box holding a sealed zinc container in which were his ashes, was then delivered, together with the appropriate transatlantic transport authorization by the Prefecture, dated 14 March, to the former captain of Bersaglieri Angelo RAVAGLI, at that time the factotum and lover of Lawrence’s widow. His mission was to take the ashes to Taos (New Mexico) in “a beautiful vase” specially ordered by Frieda for this purpose. The ashes brought to Taos by RAVAGLI in grotesque cicumstances were cast by him into the concrete slab of a “shrine” which he built at the KIOWA ranch at San Cristobal near Taos.
  2. When Baron de HAULLEVILLE and his sister-in-law Rose NYS-de HAULLEVILLE (who knew Ravagli through the Huxleys) were Ravagli’s guests atTaos, Ravagli after partaking from a bottle of bourbon, confessed late one night to having dumped the box and ashes between Marseille and Villefranche (where he was due to sail on the Conde di Savoia), so as to avoid the expense and trouble of transporting them to the USA. When in New York he collected Frieda’s vase, mailed “to be called for” from Marseille, and put into it some locally procured ashes which he took to Taos.
  3. The following year Frieda had his body exhumed, cremated and the ashes brought to Taos. Her plan was to have the ashes housed in an urn in the memorial but Brett and Mabel Dodge Luhan wanted to scatter the ashes over the ranch (while Lawrence was alive the three women often competed for his attention). In response, Frieda dumped the ashes into a wheelbarrow containing wet cement and exclaimed, “now let’s see them steal this!” The cement was used to make the memorial’s altar. There are other stories concerning the whereabouts of Lawrence’s ashes but this one is the most widely accepted.

Oh Frieda. Oh Captain Ravagli. Oh dear.

I keep forgetting to post this

Seen a while back while waiting on the freeway for roadside assistance: A large pickup truck, painted on the tailgate in huge letters with:

I’D RATHER BE CUMMIN THAN STROKIN

In or out of context this is a jarring thing to see on the road. I hereby provide context:

The owner of this truck owns a Dodge pickup which uses a Cummins brand diesel engine. He feels strongly that said brand of diesel engine is superior to Ford diesel engines, which are called “Powerstroke.”

I understand the intent of his message. Clearly he wants to indicate that his engine choice implies a sexual choice: he does not wish to masturbate, hence “strokin.”

However, the activities of “cummin” and “strokin” are not exclusive. Aficionados of masturbation will immediately object: Hey! We stroke in order to come! And then we’re cummin!”

Since I was stuck on the shoulder of Interstate 710 at Atlantic/Bandini at the time I didn’t have time to follow this gentleman and point out the contradiction inherent in his signage.

Perhaps he should have said: “I’d prefer to be cummin due to my conquest of a female human than strokin my own male member in order to achieve orgasm on my own, which is humiliating to me, and I feel the same way about my engine choice of Cummins Diesel over Powerstroke Diesel. It is the right choice for diesel engines without a doubt and gives me the same sense of control and desirability that mutually consensual coitus does over masturbatory activity.”

Or maybe he should of just gave the fuck up and not painted his truck with that sign.