Tag: politics

What is our major malfunction, numbnuts?

General Joseph P. Hoar, USMC (Retired) would like to point out out that it’s the American Revolution in Iraq, but we’re the redcoats. He’s obviously a wild-eyed emo liberal towelhead-hugger who… oh wait, no. He’s a crewcutted 70-year-old professional hardass covered in combat medals.

Some notable quotes:

…when you think about Iraqi democracy, don’t think about Iowa. Think about Lebanon, you know, and that’s again best case. It’s going to be messy.

…

If you’ll permit me a sea story: In 1966, I – my first time out there, I was an advisor with the Vietnamese marines, and we were up along the DMZ and there was a Vietnamese airborne battalion that got in trouble in a place called the marketplace, which was just north of Con Tien. That battalion had 211 soldiers killed that day, and we went to relieve the pressure and we covered for them. We stayed there the next day and were involved in a pretty good-sized fight. And the bad guys broke off because of the artillery and air – the whole works.

But any number of months from 1966 until the Americans disengaged in that area, if you ever wanted a fight, all you needed to do was go to the marketplace, and you got a fight. And they killed 20 or 30 of our people and we killed a couple hundred of theirs, and then everybody went home again, and then at some unpredicted time in the future we went back up to the marketplace and did it all over again.

…

When you talk about the Middle East, if you don’t talk about Balfour and Sykes-Pico and McMahon and General Mott and Gertrude Bell and that whole crowd of people and what’s been going on out there throughout the 20th Century, you can’t begin to understand the dynamic that exists today. And we are the direct linear descendants of those colonial overlords. And that, in my judgment, is the problem, and we’ve done very little to dispel that belief.

…

I want to leave you with something that I think is really important. I was in the Middle East on a trip of five countries this past winter, and in Saudi Arabia there seemed to me to be agreement that, regardless of what happens in Iraq, these jihadis that are now there – we don’t know how many, or at least I don’t know how many there are – of 15 to 20,000 bad guys, how many of them are hardcore guys that are going to continue to fight? But regardless of what happens, these people are going to be well trained and be out of a job, and they’re going to disperse into the local countries and continue their work.

Bill Maher from the other night

I saw this clip and it’s on the huffpo today.

“Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more. There’s no more money to spend–you used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard’s bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one’s speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

“Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you’re saying: there’s so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don’t. I know, I know. There’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

“But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised that you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

“On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you’re just not lucky. I’m not saying you don’t love this country. I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

“So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: ‘Take a hint.’ “

Waterclosetgate Hearings

ignatz: Mr. President, at the time of the memorandum you did not specify #1 or #2. Was there additional communication between you and the Secretary of State on this distinction?
ignatz: Please let the record show that the President slowly lifted both hands.
maciej: Republicans angrily denounces insinuations that the President may have intended to go do #3
ignatz: Why do you hate defecation?
maciej: 2 4 6 8… Condi can I micturate?
ignatz: Mr. President, you already have. It’s time to go to the “undisclosed location” again.

Today’s copy editing lol: The National Ledger masthead

Because I hate freedom, bitter asswipe etc., I bring you this gem from the National Ledger’s masthead:


Chris Adamo has edited and wrote for “The Wyoming Christian”, the state newsletter for Christian Coalition of Wyoming.

Well I suspect he has done wrote, but anymore we won’t be using him as editor.

The rest of the masthead is a gallery of rogues, idiots, and the genuinely evil that includes Michelle “bring back Manzanar” Malkin and Paul Weyrich.

Also this guy:

who describes himself thus:

JB Williams is a business man, a husband, a father, and a writer. A no nonsense commentator on American politics, American history, and American philosophy. A hard hitting columnist, attacking the socialist cancer plaguing America today. He has a pragmatic “common Joe” approach to even the toughest issues facing our nation. He has a degree in BS from the school of hard knocks, and a uniquely entertaining way of helping even the most liberal among us, to discover the obvious. He is published nationwide and in many countries around the globe, and is currently working on a book.

There sits JB, cellphone cradled on his shoulder, laboriously tapping out sentence fragments and malformed clauses. Type on, JB! Type on!

Hillary, get a copy editor.

My mother, who is on all liberal mailing lists, received this note from Mrs. Clinton:

Please join Friends of Hillary and help me meet the dual challenges of fighting for our priorities in the Senate while running a strong but forceful campaign that will ensure my re-election by sending a donation of $25, $35, or $50.

AU: Strong and forceful are synonyms and should not be separated by “but”.

AU: You set up a parallelism of “dual challenges” and then used “while” to join the clauses, leaving the reader hanging.

AU: The campaign appears to be sending the donation.

I have to say, things are going pretty darned well.

Had a bit of a scare in California this week, didn’t we? But our man Arnold held the line. Glad he had the spine to show them what a real conservative is, instead of that tree-hugging image he was trying to project or some “third way” nonsense. Sooner or later the queers will understand there’s no place for them here.

New Orleans is going to work out fine. Sure there’s a lot of talk about the President and the Federal Government and all these supposed problems, but no one remembers that after a few months, and we’re going to manage the media back into position. Those boys will understand they need to stay on message, especially with Roger over at Fox leading the way. Pretty soon it’ll just be crazy old Michael Moore making funny little movies and we can redefine the center where we want it. Fish in a barrel.

You have to understand what an opportunity this is for Homeland Security. We’re going to need a lot more of that kind of security in this country, and some of it is going to rile people a little. There’s inevitably going to be some unrest, especially as the next election comes up or we get a blip in the employment numbers. Sometimes people just can’t see past a couple hard years and understand what we’re doing for them, and you can’t just hope they’ll trust us.

We’re getting a real good run-through down there. The Guard has things locked down, FEMA is making sure we’re in control on the humanitarian end, and there’s going to be good management of the media from here on out. I think people got the message about what our authority means now, and what we’ll do to maintain the stability and the order that’s needed. Some of the new crowd control technologies and surveillance stuff has been stellar already. These are the kind of tools we’re going to need in the next election to keep on track. We can’t have 1968 all over again, that was just a stupid mess. And government all down the line has to get with the program. Some penny-ante local blowhard like Broussard messes around, he’ll get a lot worse than some cut phone lines next time, and he knows it.

Let me tell you, we’ve got some bumpy rides ahead. You’re going to be thankful for that hurricane later, because the lessons we learned this week will make 2008 a lot smoother for the people who need it. You wanna play hardball, you have to spend some time in the batting cage.