mr pharmacist

The pharmacy just before 6 am. There’s nothing like it! It’s a Hopper painting with bonus bad R&B muzak and the smell of floor cleaner.

I bet this is what Death will be. Slightly dirty white floors, sterile piped-in music, waiting on plastic chairs, bright and cheerful signs about terrible things, and waiting for someone in a white coat to do something about the god-damned pain.

Comic relief: my pharmacist was Mrs.Doubtfire again. It’s not that she’s transgender. This is Southern California and no one cares. It’s that she seems to have modeled herself exactly on La Doubtfire. I was wondering if I would be a victin of a walk-by fruiting as I left.

When the haze of the stupid pain pills disappears I am going on a walk. Yeah, you heard me. A god-damned walk! In the NATURE BITS!

Apocalypse at the CVS

I went to my pharmacy today, which is usually a nucking fightmare. Nothing’s ever ready, the computer takes forever, the insurance info is wrong, and there’s always someone screaming at the staff.

Today the computer was slow, as usual. The woman filling my script just kept typing and typing and typing, and I remarked that she seemed to be typing in the entire chemical structure of the drug. There was a guy in a tie just sort of hanging out in the background and he laughed. Then it appeared he was watching what the staff was doing, and occasionally he’d step in to show them something on the computer or to ask what the pharmacy assistants were doing.

Turns out he was the Efficiency Expert and I.T. guy. But, unlike every other one of those I’ve met, he was really good. Pleasant, observant, helpful, and very interested in making things work better. He’d already set up both the computers and the staff process so that people actually there in the store waiting were at the head of the queue, which incredibly had never been done before. He was also there to prepare the staff for the new computer system, which he said was “more drop downs, less typing, and easier.”

Then he stopped me on the way out to ask how well they’d done. The answer was perfectly: my two prescriptions were done in 10 minutes.

Now if I could only get a plan where it didn’t cost me hundreds of dollars a month to get the meds I need…