Vince Lombardi would never have cupped his hand while slapping a player’s ass. It’s really very distressing to reach for the nitro and get a bottle full of duds, especially at the doctor’s office. Could you make sure that doesn’t happen any more? She said the fish water was looking dirty so she put bleach in it, for real. He asked me if Boob Guy was gay.

I keep trying to explain her to him and he just keeps saying “she’s just STUPID! she’s just STUPID!”. He told me he needed a ride there to see his girlfriend and I just said “does your girlfriend come in a little plastic bag?”