In which salome and I discuss the ubiquity of hip roller derby

salome_st_john also if I NEVER see another roller derby photo again I will be so excited and I have friends in roller derby I AM SO SICK OF IT

substitute yup. we should franchise it to junior high schools and retire rich

salome_st_john oh christ best idea ever

substitute has the roller derby cute girls indie boys movie happened yet? it’ll be like the Singles or Breakfast Club for this generation of blurpsters. The Postal Service playing as our heroine goes for the gold. Pardon me while I have a small seizure, here

salome_st_john ONE BLEACH MARTUNI COMING UP

substitute GLOBBLE
The sounds of the 90s, the roller derby excitement of the millennium, and the girls you love: It’s Henry Rollins’ Saturday Night Derby show! With special guest host Ben Gibbard and musical appearances by AFI, Ozomatli, and Juliette and the Licks!

salome_st_john I just peed

substitute I’m going to hell, aren’t I.

salome_st_john luckily I’ll be driving

HONK HONK HONK THE BIG WHALE-SAVING TRUCK IS HERE

FOLKS I’M SHOWING MY SUPPORT FOR THE OCEAN AND THE BEACH AND THE FISH AND THE WHALES AND THE SEA ANEMONES AND THE SURFERS AND THE LAUGHING, RUNNING CHILDREN IN THE WAVES AND OUR FUTURE ON THE PLANET BY PUTTING THIS ORNAMENTAL LICENSE PLATE ON MY PIECE OF SHIT TRUCK THAT GETS 14 MILES PER GALLON AND IS ENTIRELY EMPTY BUT EXTREMELY SHINY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL!!!

CHECK MY SHIT OUT!

Um. Portland. Guys? What the…

pft

I knew you had a hipster problem and a hippie problem, but this whole post-ironic Partridge Family droogies thing is extreme. It sounds more like one of onda_dog‘s pranks than a news story.

Major points to the cop for dissing these guys and their tiresome attention-whoring: “There’s nothing special about these people. Their behavior is typical of thousands of people in Portland that we have to deal with every day. They’re run-of-the-mill goof balls.” Oh SNAP.