What does this “toy” require of us?

Give me back my filet-o-ghost

The mechanical fish wants us to return the fast-food meal consisting of dismembered and reconstituted real fish that has been fried and then frozen and then reheated and sold at a McDonalds. How are we to respond? Is this a Scrooge/Marley scenario? Is the mechanical fish a vengeful ghost? Can we “give back” this item to the mechanical revenge ghost fish in any way that is meaningful? Why won’t it shut up? How did we get to this place? SHIELD ME FROM THE FISH

SPAM DU JOUR

SHARPSHOOTING? VINEGAR BIG HOLE? SIGN ME THE HELL UP!

6 Ed Frimercat,

Dcho 39-40,

08040 MERCABARNA, BARCELONA.

Telephone +34 972330808,Fax +34 972336453

Goodday,

Abaco Fish Limited is a Global Seafood Enterprise based in Spain. Abaco Fish SL has been a company formed by experienced people in the fish industry. Some of them come from centennial companies of the branch, installed for 150 years. Others with 40 years of experience in the international trade of fish and seafood, inclusively having being a principal contributor in the formation and commercial takeoff of Spanish sharpshooting companies. Also we were pioneering in 1971 and 1972 in the product packaging finished for its sale in great surfaces, as they were the first trays of clean sepia, lenguados, and producers of vinegar big hole, etc.

Originally starting out in the Food Additive Industry, the company became swiftly involved in plenty of other segments and is continuously adopting new challenges. Besides the trading business, it has identified the necessity to offer special services to Western companies that wish to engage themselves into activities in Spain but do not have the rights contacts, language abilities and/or time to get this accomplished themselves.

It is upon this note that we are writing you to seek your assistance in representing our company in your locality as our Regional Manager. Note that as a regional manager of our company, you will be entitled to a basic salary of $60,000 United States Dollars a year and 5% bonus of any amount you receive from customers on behalf of the company as payments for sales and outstanding debts on goods that they buy.

As a regional manager of our company, your primary functions are as follows:

1. Maintanance of a sales office. The company will be responsible for all costs including phone and other expenses, and the setting up of the office in your region.

2. Assume responsibility for all sales office.

3. Lastly, contacting clients on behalf of the company who are ready to make payments or wanting to pay for products they purchase from the company.

To facilitate this transaction if accepted, do send us promptly, the following:

1. Your Full Names

2. Present Occupation/Position

3. Contact address

4. Telephone number,Fax and e-mail contact.

5. Age.

Thanks for your time and anticipation to work with Abaco Ltd.

Sincerely Yours,

Torndaro Parkins

SPALMON (de Santiago, Chile)

Boy do they have the wrong number. Caught fresh in the wild by my spamchecker, some native Chilean spawning spalmon:

From: “FILETE DE SALMON A DOMICILIO”
Date: February 25, 2007 8:45:11 PM PST
To: “3”
Subject: FILETE DE SALMON A DOMICILIO

DISFRUTE DE EL MEJOR FILETE DE SALMON ENTREGADO EN SU DOMICILIO SIN RECARGO PARA USTED.(solo en la ciudad de santiago)

NUESTROS PRECIOS SON LOS SIGUIENTES:

FILETE DE SALMON FRESCO Y CONGELADO SELLADO AL VACIO 3.800.- POR KILO
FILETE DE SALMON AHUMADO SELLADO AL VACIO 5.000.- POR KILO

HAGA SU PEDIDO AL CORREO salmonchile@chile.com O LLAME AL FONO 09-7424993

si desea ser removido de nuestra lista por favor disculpe y devuelva este correo con la palabra “remover”

Fish list: what happened?

The Fish List is gone. Or at least its home page is, and points back to the Seafood Choices site. The list itself remains, but I don’t know when it was last updated.

This is weird and sort of disturbing. The Fish List was a project among the various organizations who had been keeping lists of environmentally less stupid fish to buy and eat. The Monterey Bay Aquarium, a couple of environmental groups, and a seafood industry group had managed to cooperate enough to make a good list of which fish were more reasonable to eat and healthier. I can only assume the alliance collapsed for some reason. So now we have competing fish lists. The ones I’d seen recommended as pretty authoritative before have differing objectives.

For now I’d recommend the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch which has lots of good info and also little downloadable cards in .pdf so that you can know what you’re doing when buying and eating.

The back of loaf

  1. Silver Spoon Considered Harmful.
  2. Massive Fandom Wank containing the phrase “fandom unity luncheon” somewhere in it. Jesus H. Christ.
  3. Abstain from sex; win fries.
  4. List of unusual deaths (Wikipedia).
  5. I refuse to believe that smllr is a real service. Only John Waters can do Smell-O-Vision anyway.
  6. Doom awaits kitchen gadget lovers: Sur La Table is having a big sale.
  7. How does this violinist make weird subharmonic noises?