beyond blunderdome: christ, what an asshole

Getting popped for DUI is bad. It’s unpleasant and irresponsible to drive drunk. But if you pay the penalty and deal with your shit and don’t do it again, that’s good.

Being racially abusive is really bad too, drunk or not. But there are some people who say and do things drunk they don’t believe sober. And when they apologize (and stop getting drunk), it’s only fair to take them at their word.

But if someone is taken in for DUI, and in the process blasts out a tirade of anti-Semitic slurs and threats at the officers, and that someone is a prominent filmmaker whose father is a Holocaust-denying anti-Semite, and that person has not repudiated his father’s views, and that person is a member and supporter of his father’s crazy church, and that person has made a passion play film of just the kind used to launch pogroms and massacres, it’s time for more than just a public apology.

Hey Mel? It’s time for a complete turnaround. Stop drinking, stop being racist, repudiate your bigoted family and friends, and spend a decade or so making amends. Or just toss the citizenship and leave, because you’re not wanted.


Bird Allegedly Flying Under The Influence Crashes
June 23, 2006

A pelican that crashed head-on into a car windshield may have been flying while intoxicated on sea algae, and officials warned people Friday to be on the lookout for more unusual animal behavior.

The California Brown Pelican flew into a car windshield Thursday on Pacific Coast Highway in Laguna Beach.

It was in guarded condition with internal injuries at the Wetlands and Wildlife Care Center in Huntington Beach, where a four-inch gash in its pouch was stitched up and its right toe was stabilized with a pin, according to Lisa Birkle, assistant wildlife director.

Wildlife officials said the bird may have been high on an algae in the ocean that could be reaching Orange County.

If the bird’s behavior was a result of eating the sea algae and subsequent Domoic Acid poisoning, which has affected seabirds and marine mammals the last two months, then more birds could be affected and people should be on the lookout for similar unusual behavior, Birkle said.

Symptoms range from general disorientation, acting “drunk” or just being in an unusual place, she said.

Any unusual behavior in pelicans should be reported to the wildlife center in Huntington Beach at (714) 374-5587, Birkle said.

Brown pelicans are an endangered species that are protected from hunters. But the government is seeking to “de-list” them from that status because they have made a comeback from their dwindled numbers caused by DDT poisoning years ago, Birkle said.

Copyright (c) 2006, All Rights Reserved.

Some are insane, and they’re in charge

Gang of Four tonight. A loser is me and I didn’t read the tickets that said “Doors open 7 pm” (on a Friday night? WTF!?). Therefore I lazed about avoiding opening bands and didn’t pick L. up until nearly 10. We got there at 10:20 and the ticket woman told me they’d started at 9:45 to play an hour set. Very sad me. Fortunately they played a bit longer than that and I got to hear “To Hell with Poverty” and “At Home He’s a Tourist” which made me pogo like it was 1981.

The closing version of “Damaged Goods” would have been way better without the no-talent assclowns from the opening bands onstage being fratboys and Girl Rocker Stereotypes. Out on the disco floor they make their money, etc.

But I had a really good time yelling the lyrics back at the band. So did the rest of the crowd. It’s great to realize that the reason the vocals sound different is that most of the audience is singing along to just about every song. There were drunk idiots in front of us but they didn’t puke on me or yell in my ear. We went up to the bar afterwards to wait and see if Gina could come say hi but she was busy training a new waitress.

At this point, while L. was looking at merch, I was accosted by a woman I slightly recognized; I’d seen her in 2002 at the Savage Republic reunion show taking photos. Tall and very 80s scenester, dyed hair, rock t-shirt, etc. Not more than five years younger than me. She was the World’s Drunkest Person and simultaneously asked me for a light, asked me if I knew Dave (which Dave was not specified), and complained about the after-party the night before. The poor thing was so far gone that it was difficult for me to understand what she meant except that she was unhappy with her week and wanted to smoke, and to talk to me about things.

She got a light from someone else and disappeared for a bit, only to return again with her date, who was an aging scenester also, of the leather jacket + bad hair + alcohol + horn rimmed glasses variety. She began hitting on me with the manic intensity of the near-psychotic drunk. She hugged me about 10 times and kissed me twice on the cheek, explaining that she was a music dork and loved music dorks and knew I was one too, and that her boyfriend was a college radio music director/program director and that she loved him because music dork. Meanwhile he began clumsily/slimily hitting on L. I am indeed a music dork who was a college radio music director and program director, but I wasn’t gonna share that with her at this point.

After about 15 minutes of this, with L. showing signs of distress and/or incipient homicide, we fled. According to my new friend, she would have been “the best girlfriend I ever had”. I think we both have minor PTSD from the incident. It was only humorous after we were on the road at 50 mph headed away from the scene.

So I dropped L. off and cooled down at Ruba for a while, where Clayton and another guy talked about guns and I listened, and the muzak played Aerosmith, and the teenaged girls and boys smoked ostentatiously.

It was nice to go to a show with a neat person and just enjoy an evening. Should do that more, eh.