Entertainment News From All Over: BROMANCE!

Subject: Brody Jenner – “Bromance” Integration Opportunity on MTV!

Hi Devoted Clients,

I am bringing to you an integration opportunity for a new comedy/reality show featuring the Prince Of Malibu – Brody Jenner (from The Hills). The show is called “Bromance” While Brody has no trouble finding ladies to occupy his time, he is on the hunt to find the perfect ‘bro-mance’?. The perfect guy he can trust? The perfect guy he can chill with and ultimately welcome into his entourage. Below and attached you will find details about the show. We are looking for clients that can have organic integrations in the “MANsion” and other places inside the show.

Note: Turnaround time is very quick, as the show begins taping on August 25th!

About the show:
Several ‘bros” will compete in various group and individual activities that will test their trust, reliability and compatibility to determine who truly belongs in his inner circle.  From skydiving into Las Vegas, to dealing with the Paparazzi, to being his wingman, each episode will feature one “group date” and the always important “alone time” with Brody. Throughout the series, the pool of “bros” gets smaller as contestants get eliminated into the “Hot Tub Elimination Ceremony,” where rejected ‘bros’ will be asked to leave the bachelor pad, dripping wet, wearing a swimsuit with luggage in hand. In the end, the winner will take home an incredible prize package, move out to Hollywood and secure a spot as the newest member of Jenner’s entourage.

Sponsorship Opportunities Include:
The MANsion where the “bros” will live, compete and play offers a variety of in-show integration:
Electronics
Video Games
Wireless
Beverage
Grooming
Apparel

The “bros” need transportation to travel to hot
spots during the season:
High-End Automotive Vehicles Requested

Bromance Prize Package:
The MANsion will be filled to the brim with “man toys,” which will all be presented as the ultimate prize package for the winning bro.

Details:
Six (6) Hour Long Episodes
Tentatively Set to Premiere in late December
Shooting August 25th-September 15, 2008 in LA

Minimum 1 verbal and 2-3 mentions throughout series for sponsors

That is the overview. If interested let’s start discussing quickly as time is of the essence! This will be FUN!
Regards,

LOOKS LIKE THAT DOWNTURN IN HOUSING MAY BE HAPPENING NOW, FOLKS

Loan agent arrested in burglary
Placentia man arrested in Irvine is also a suspect in another copper heist, police say.
By KIMBERLY EDDS
The Orange County Register

bro-glaryIRVINE – A Placentia loan officer was arrested Wednesday after police say they caught him in the middle of stealing copper from a vacant Irvine building.

Dwayne Anthony Kelly, 45, is also suspected of stealing more than $20,000 of copper wire from a Muirlands Street building in February, Irvine police Lt. Rick Handfield said. Surveillance cameras captured a man resembling Kelly breaking into the empty building and stealing 2800 feet of copper wire in February.

Officers were called to a burglary in progress in the 2800 block of Kelvin about 3:45 p.m. Wednesday and caught Kelly with burglary tools, Handfield said.

He was arrested on suspicion of burglary and possession of burglary tools.

Kelly is scheduled to be arraigned Friday at the Harbor Justice Center. He is being held at the Orange County jail without bail.

Your tax dollars at work! Or mostly at play!

There were a few news items about the mortgage catastrophe today. Instead of saying “hey everyone the so-called subprime market was usury and fraud and soon it will all collapse and we will pay and pay and pay,” they said that there was “increasing concern” about the “dip” in the “subprime market” and that foreclosures were occurring. Also, big time Democratic Senator Dodd was intoning that we must save the American homeowner and punish “predatory lending” since he had just discovered the other day that the mortgage business was being run by actual burglar-type criminals.

I assume that this will result in a huge S&L style bailout eventually. The homeowners will be “saved” by a “public/private partnership solution” in which taxpayers foot the bill for yet more mortgage bros to refi everything. Five or six egregious offenders will be convicted of fraud because of “predatory lending,” and everyone else will refi their rap sheet and continue.

Get out your checkbooks everyone. You’re about to pay out for the last fifteen years of appletinis, Humvees, shiny shirts, big watches, square-toed Italian shoes, blowjobs, cocaine, Harleys, Las Vegas, more cocaine, Mexican resorts, Dave Matthews Band tickets, still more cocaine, and one more appletini for the road.

The writing on the mirror

Either the bro dudes have noticed that the housing boom and their easy money days are ending, or someone just dumped a lot of cheap cocaine on the market around here. I have seen more coked-out 25-40 year old mortgage bro guys this week than in the six months previously. I mean really fucking HIGH AS A KITE, flying, twitchy and loud, eyeballs making Ren & Stimpy noises, inappropriate affect, sweating, jaw clenching, everything.

The last one I saw tonight was standing on Newport Blvd near 17th with a couple of other guys. He had that overly-tanned and haggard skin, sunglasses pushed up on hiss spiked hair, a coating of sweat on his face, and office dress shirt and pants. As I waited at the stoplight he suddenly tugged sharply on his shirt so that he seemed to rip a couple of buttons off, exposing the top part of his chest. Then he yelled at them: “Revenue. Revenue, revenue. REVENUE!” And then the light turned green and I drove away.

I’M DYIN’ OUT HERE. THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING. YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. FUCK.

I was just awakened from a lovely nap by lost bro guys. There were two of them, the Shouter and the Mumbler. The Shouter was on his phone and alternately talking to the Mumbler.

SHOUTER: AN HOUR AGO WE WERE AT THE BAR AND NOW WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE!!

MUMBLER: Urghm… [inaudible]

SHOUTER: WHAT THE FUCK, I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME! NO, I’M AT HARMONY AND BAGUETTE! NO! GET THE COMPUTER!

MUMBLER: grghgm…

SHOUTER: SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO! I DON’T KNOW. I WALKED THE WHOLE WAY. YOU GOTTA HELP ME. COME ON. FUCKIN’. THIS IS FUCKING NOWHERE.

SHOUTER: FUCK FUCK, FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK! HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN? YES I SAID HARMONY AND BAGUETTE. NO I DON’T KNOW. YOU TELL ME WHICH WAY! LEFT OR RIGHT? I’M FACING… FUCK JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!

This went on for about fifteen minutes. For reference, I’m a half mile from the boulevard where any bar would be, and if you look down “Harmony” you can see a major thoroughfare at each end within a few minutes’ walking distance. Shouter was degenerating into a meltdown panic as if he’d fallen into an abandoned mineshaft or been left behind by the last chopper out of a firefight in Afghanistan. Periodically he attempted to hail some passing car. Oh dear god don’t leave the poor boy here in this suburban neighborhood that’s laid out in a grid. Some soccer mom will skin him alive for a laugh or he’ll be mauled and eaten by wandering housecats.

Finally I went out to either help him find his way out of our living Hell or get him to shut up. He was headed in the right direction, though, and he and Mumbler slowly flapped in their flip-flops towards the twinkling lights of the Oasis called Newport Boulevard.

SHOUTER: YEAH, BUT WHAT WAS FUNNY IS HOW MUCH WE RIPPED HIM OFF!!

MUMBLER: shut the fuck up

SHOUTER: WE GOT HIS NINETY BUCKS AND THERE’S NO WAY HE GOT HIS MONEY’S WORTH! HAHAHAHAHAH!

SO I’VE BEEN BROWSING MYSPACE TONIGHT

I’VE FOUND OUT A LOT OF STUFF, OKAY.

FIRST OF ALL I CAN GET UPSCALE ACCESS TO PROMOTIONAL EVENTS AND PARTIES THROUGH UPSCALE ACCESS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY HOOKUP TO THE SCENE. THE SCENE IS WHERE YOU TO TO RESTAURANTS HERE IN TOWN AND PAY EXTRA AND THERE ARE DRUNK BLONDE WOMEN THERE WITH SPRAY ON TANS. THE MEMBERSHIP IN UPSCALE ACCESS IS SO EXCITING TO THESE WOMEN THAT QUITE A FEW OF THEM ARE SEEN LICKING THE MEMBERSHIP CARDS OR STROKING THEIR CLEAVAGE WITH THE CARDS AND SEEM VERY HAPPY DOING THIS. I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM JUST GOING TO A RESTAURANT AND HAVING SOME SEX AFTERWARDS BUT I GUESS IT’S PRETTY GOOD.

I ALSO LEARNED THAT THE MAJORITY OF NEW MYSPACE MEMBERS TONIGHT ARE YOUNG WOMEN WHO HAVE JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND WANT TO MEET FUN PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY’RE NEW IN TOWN. WHAT’S WEIRD IS THAT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE 30-YEAR-OLD PROFESSIONAL BIKINI MODELS. MAYBE HIGH SCHOOL IS DIFFERENT NOW, I DUNNO.

I LEARNED THAT SOME GUY FOR REASONS OF HIS OWN IS MAKING PROFILES FOR THE ENTIRE 1995 GRADUATING CLASS OF CORONA DEL MAR HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE REAL NAMES AND PICTURES OF THOSE PEOPLE PROBABLY WITHOUT TALKING TO THEM FIRST. THAT’S GOING TO BE A PARTY BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL ABOUT THE AGE TO BE GRADUATING FROM LAW SCHOOL ABOUT NOW AND I THINK MAYBE THEY WON’T LIKE THIS SO MUCH.

OH AND ONE OTHER THING THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED ULTRA LOUNGE NOW. IT LOOKS LIKE A REGULAR DISCO EXCEPT IT HAS TECHNO MUSIC ON A LOOP AND THE DRINKS ARE TEN DOLLARS. I AM NOT SURE WHY IT’S AN ULTRA LOUNGE BECAUSE THE PICTURES ARE JUST OF DRUNK PEOPLE OR BOOTH BABES FROM THE TRADE SHOW IN MINIDRESSES BUT MAYBE THERE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD LOUNGE TYPE CHAIRS IN THE PLACE THAT ARE SUPER COMFORTABLE.

IT WAS REALLY TIRING READING ABOUT THE ULTRA LOUNGES AND THE BIKINI MODELS AND ALL THE ENERGY DRINKS AND PROMOTIONS AND STUFF. I THINK THESE PEOPLE MUST BE A LOT MORE COMMITTED TO AN UPSCALE LIFESTYLE THAN I AM BECAUSE IT SORT OF WORE ME OUT JUST LEARNING ALL THIS NEW STUFF.

ALSO WHEN I WAS BROWSING THROUGH THE PEOPLE ON MYSPACE I SAW THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF THOSE 30 YEAR OLD BIKINI MODELS WHO JUST GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL:

Buying a house? Watch out for paradigms

torgo_x forwarded the most clear and forceful explanation of how really bad mortgage ideas work, and why the current situation can’t end well. Math is hard, and optimism is easy. I’d guess a lot of the people who do this think of themselves as risk-takers who are going to win. I wish them all luck tripling their incomes in the next five years.

I wonder what the impact of a really bad housing crash would have in Orange County. Not only is real estate development a big local industry, but that whole slimy subprime mortgage business is mostly here too. So much so that we refer to big-spending young guys who party hard as “mortgage bro’s”.

If there’s no more money for the next swathe of terra cotta boxes in Temecula, and no more spiffs for selling predatory refi’s to hicks, and no more interest-only ARM crazy home loans to sell, that’s a big chunk of the local wealth just flat fucking gone. It could be as bad as the Great Defense Slump of the 1970s, which was a carnival of suicidal dads, boarded up ranch-style homes, and 40 year old draftsmen lining up for government aid and retraining programs. Oh by the way, those are gone now because we didn’t need them in the New Economy. Whoo boy.