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  • Driving down Chapman in Orange today I saw a woman in a witch costume. By “witch costume” I mean the full Wicked Witch of the West outfit with conical black hat, flowing black garments, weird shoes. I could not figure out what this meant on the day after Thanksgiving in Southern California. As a bonus, the entire effect was ruined by the large neon pink duffel bag she was carrying.
  • The cranberry ginger cherry relish made by salome_st_john is Cranberry Crack.
  • culfinglin is a very cool person and I enjoyed the long convo over coffee today tremendously.
  • The “Holiday Season” has arrived in the traditional way here in Southern California. Today I was tailgated by my first SUV-with-grille-mounted-wreath of the season!
  • My cat has been staring at me a lot lately.
  • The new Pynchon has arrived. I am simultaneously eager to start it and afraid of its bulk. It’s like having an entire ten pound cheesecake in the house.

short attention spam

This is a series of random observations or questions. They’re short because my ADD-like symptoms are bad and I can’t comprehend big ideas right now. Which pisses me off to no end! But anyway:

Nick and I keep discussing that action-movie shot in which our heroes run or jump in slow motion away from a big fiery explosion. They almost always jump while running in the air and extend their arms, and are silhouetted against a wall of flame. Is there a name for this shot? There must be, because almost every action movie has one. We think it originated with the Lethal Weapon movies but we’re not sure. Anyone know?

I was at the grocery store late last night. It being Friday night, there were a number of couples there picking up items after a date and before going home: beer, ice cream, snacks, wine. The couple behind me in line seemed like nice people and were alternately looking a little annoyed and then laughing about something. The guy kept leaving and coming back as we waited. The line was long. I caught her eye and said “What, can’t he find the goldfish crackers?” Turns out he was trying to get condoms, which were in a locked case near the back of the store. There were only a couple of employees in the whole place so it was difficult. I looked at the line behind her, all couples with snacks and beer. “You’d think they’d know better…” she said and then started cracking up again. He returned and we all decided that instead of a lock, there should be a happy bell clang and circus music whenever anyone got a condom, or maybe a booming CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SEX! announcement.

burntcurtis is a great date. We IHOP’d it last night and had a good long chat, after I introduced him to Andy A and they nerded out about circuit boards and other electronic hardware items and their manufacture. The IHOP people were using an unusually sexual advertising technique to sell French Toast. Is “leave happy” like “happy ending” but with breakfast food?

Does anyone know where one goes to shoot rifles around here? Yeah yeah I know, lol clocktower. I mean for real, for learning. I want to get a .22 and poke little holes in things at a distance.

The orange cat who guards my street 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, approached me this morning as I stood on my doorstep, pointed its paw at me, and said “Gnaaaaarp.”

Ten things I do when I’m alone

1. Belch a lot
2. Talk to myself and the cat interchangeably
3. Listen to incredibly cheesy guilty pleasure music on repeat
4. Eat macaroni & cheese
5. Drink a whole bottle of wine and mumble to myself
6. Chase the cat around the house
7. Invent new recipes in the kitchen and often flush them down the sink
8. Spiral into inexplicable depression and self-hatred for hours
9. Feel an even more inexplicable nostalgia for Kansas City
10. Write and then erase what I wrote

Yours? Horked from klikitak