There were a few news items about the mortgage catastrophe today. Instead of saying “hey everyone the so-called subprime market was usury and fraud and soon it will all collapse and we will pay and pay and pay,” they said that there was “increasing concern” about the “dip” in the “subprime market” and that foreclosures were occurring. Also, big time Democratic Senator Dodd was intoning that we must save the American homeowner and punish “predatory lending” since he had just discovered the other day that the mortgage business was being run by actual burglar-type criminals.

I assume that this will result in a huge S&L style bailout eventually. The homeowners will be “saved” by a “public/private partnership solution” in which taxpayers foot the bill for yet more mortgage bros to refi everything. Five or six egregious offenders will be convicted of fraud because of “predatory lending,” and everyone else will refi their rap sheet and continue.

Get out your checkbooks everyone. You’re about to pay out for the last fifteen years of appletinis, Humvees, shiny shirts, big watches, square-toed Italian shoes, blowjobs, cocaine, Harleys, Las Vegas, more cocaine, Mexican resorts, Dave Matthews Band tickets, still more cocaine, and one more appletini for the road.