From a tattered diary page found floating on the mucilaginous ooze of the Salton Sea, June 28 2006:

Day 3 of the Windows XP install. Aft #3 torpedo tube is flooded. Captain refusing to leave his quarters. Lt. Zip has not returned from installing the Com+ Deep Fryer and Full-Service Hapax Legomenon (Disabled) (Automatic) (Brazilian). I know that I shall never see my true love or my dear parents again. A watery grave awaits.