Author: substitute

nope

Dining Out Around Town Vol I: Denny’s Prime Rib

My friend Pretty Boy Dave (PBD) used to work at Denny’s. Dave has worked quite a few food service jobs in the past (he has been known to say “I hate all people who eat food”), but this one was particularly good.

One of the neighborly things Denny’s does is have occasional Prime Rib specials. The prime rib is cheap ($6 or something), and it is a large portion. Lots of people come in, especially old folks on fixed incomes.

Some time before this, the meat arrives from Headquarters. It is a gigantic lump of stuff that could not have been cut from any animal. Seams of fat circle it, and it is frozen like a Mongolian steppe, hard and smooth like glass. As Dave described it, it’s a type of Stonehenge Plinth of meat, suspiciously regular and large. It is heaved into the freezer and kept there.

On the first day of the special, the Meat Lump is dragged out of the freezer and dropped into the dish sink, which is the only container large enough to hold it. A great clunk is heard. Then warm water is run over it slowly for the entire day. As people request the Prime Rib, an appropriately sized chunk is hacked off the slowly melting meat-berg.

This meat is then microwaved until it is hot. However, at this point it looks like precooked defrosted road accident. Therefore, it is dunked in a vat of boiling “au jus” sauce for a few minutes. When dragged out of this, it is soft, tender, juicy, and just what the victim customer ordered.

Finally the finished product, a lovely slice of hot savory ass Prime Rib, is served.

Dave says that occasionally someone would ask for an end cut and he would have to run in the other room to laugh.

Finally, at the end of the day, the lump is taken out of the dish sink and thrown back into the freezer to become 100% meat-berg again. Since the prime rib special is off between 11 pm that night and 5 pm the next day, it has time to freeze up before it is yet again thrown in the sink and drizzled.

And that’s how nauseating giant chickenheart chunks of mystery meat saved Christmas, kids.

HOLY

TO PARAPHRASE THAT ONE JERKCITY ABOUT MERVYNS

DEAR MOTHERS MARKET COSTA MESA

YOU ARE PLAYING THE WORST EVER SOFT AND MELLOW HITS OF THE 1970S ON THE PA SYSTEM AND NOT SELLING ALCOHOL BY THE GLASS OR OTHERWISE YOU PATHETIC WEASELS ITS ONE OR THE OTHER!!!!

THERE AINT NO GOOD GUY THERE AINT NO BAD GUY THERE’S JUST YOU AND ME AND A DOG NAMED BOO AND I’M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH OH GOD THE BURNING
—
ignatz

Do as I say, not who I do

This is very Old Testament. Here we have a church where the original pastor was canned for moral transgression in 1995, the current pastor, his son, has just been revealed to have had an affair with his brother’s wife for 18 years, he was also canned, is fighting his brother for the pastor’s position, has named his SON.. oh just read it.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/orange/la-me-crossroads17jun17,1,2556216.story?coll=la-editions-orange

genital/genital for username/password if you’re not registered with the idiots at latimes.com

check out the ‘do on pastor kruse.

WHO IS STILL GOING TO THIS CHURCH?

A short history of “web services”

1993: Maybe we could someday have services on this thing, Tim!

1995: We plan to offer services of various kinds on websites.

1998: There are services available, but the free ones don’t work very well. Soon the world of paid web services will be a reality.

1999: There are services available for pay! Oops, we went under.

2003: There are no free services. There are web services for pay and they don’t work. This is the future. LICK IT UP.