Dear Internet:

I was driving down Western Avenue in Los Angeles last night and a biker guy pulled into traffic ahead of me on his large Harley.

He was wearing the colors of the Chosen Few Motorcycle Club, which is an old school black west coast outfit I’d heard of.

He was also wearing a FULL FACE SHINY METAL GRINNING SKULL DEATH MASK.

I have questions.

Do these guys often wear shiny skull masks?

If not, was he wearing the skull mask for a special occasion like an initiation or baby shower?

If not, was he wearing the mask in order to go do some crimes?

If not, was he wearing the mask because he’s a complete goofball and does stuff like this all the time and the other guys are all “there goes Eugene again!”

If not, was he perhaps not an African-American motorcycle club member at all but one of the numberless army of the dead who walk the earth until the end of days who decided to motorcycle instead of walking?

I thank you for your attention to this matter.