These four simple words

Federal Court Jury Summons

I hope I don’t get on a jury. Some of those federal ones go forever, especially financial crimes. But I have actually no possible excuse; I’m their ideal juror.

At least it’s a call-in thing. Unless I get called I won’t have to spend too much time in the airless Santa Ana Federal District Court Building.

Waaah! I don’t want to join this Justice League!

little prick

I was leaving the supermarket tonight, early, because they were about to have a power outage.

There was a teenaged kid working the door to keep people from entering, and we exchanged good nights.

There were two other young guys: one was another employee on a smoke break, and the other was a miscellaneous local kid in a hoodie and shorts. Maybe another employee, maybe note. This kid was telling jokes.

As I passed he said “Why are black people so tall? Because they’re Negroes.” I thought, well, that’s some dumb fifth grade humor.

Then, as I was walking to my car he said “How do you keep black guys out of your back yard? Hang one in the front.”

The door kid looked uncomfortable. “Hey, not when the store is open, okay.”

Hoodie Joker Kid said something I couldn’t hear. Door kid said again “Whatever when the store is closed, just you can’t do that stuff when we’re open, okay.”

Hoodie Joker says “You’re closed in five minutes. Anyway no one cares.”

I said “I care.”

The kids looked at me. Door kid was paralyzed. Smoke break kid just smoked. Hoodie said “Uh… sorry sir” in a tone that indicated a great lack of sorrow.

“Keep that shit inside of your house, dude.” I drove away.

I feel like I should have got up in the kid’s face and been loud, but I don’t know. I guess I communicated a combination of disapproval and advice. Maybe I just wanted to be loud and threatening because I was angry, and it would have been dumb.

I wonder if he’ll ever figure out that there’s a world outside Newport Beach where lynching jokes have consequences.

It put a shiver down my spine.


My friend sooz has a problem. She needs to find a restaurant for dinner in San Francisco. The issue is the bizarre set of conditions she has to fulfill.

The good part is that she has a pretty good budget, so they can go to a nice place. However, here are the restrictions:

  1. This place must be vegetarian-friendly, but not entirely vegetarian, because some people will object to a lack of dead meat.
  2. A cheese-based cuisine won’t work.
  3. It has to be in the city; East Bay and suburbs will also fail.
  4. Casual clothing must be okay.

To me it looks like that nightmare dinner that inevitably arrives at a chain restaurant. A little help?