Why I’m still on myspace, or: bulletin of the day

From: Hastur

Date: May 20, 2006 1:38 PM
Subject: Coming soon to a bulletin near you!
Body: In consultations with various worthies who attempt to peer beyond the veils of your universe and into the next (all in vain), I, the benevolent Hastur, have decided to begin an expose’ of otherworldly existence for your edification.

Each week Hastur will take you to a different corner of the dark cosmos. Thus you may puruse and be enlightened about some of the most ancient and benighted secrets that mankind has not even the slightest inkling of concering their true nature.

See where the Outer Gods and Great Old Ones work dilligently at their “day jobs”. Finally learn the shocking, mind-numbing truth concerning the creation of your universe, how it works, and why you are all here.

Summer independent study course credit at your institutions of higher learning will be offered, if you can convince the sloping, apelike foreheads who run your schools to accept it.

Your money cheerfully refunded (keep your receipts) if not delighted.

Sincerely,
Hastur the Unspeakable