Stuart Saves Rock ‘n’ Roll

changeng has been a hero to me for some time, because he does music exactly how he wants and is a superstar. Also because he can do the weirdest versions of songs with the funniest and most unlikely instrumentation and do them really well, not just the tacked-together way a novelty artist would.

Monkey, toy piano, xylophone, slinky, whatever it takes, Stuart will use it.

So anyway he’s saving rock ‘n’ roll, and I urge you to read this account of his gig at the Lords of Chaos tour. This is a NuMetal/pop punk tour for The Kids These Days: Atreyu, Deftones, Thrice, Story of the Year. Not what you’d recommend for a guy who plays “When Doves Cry” on a hurdy-gurdy. But this is Stuart and he’s magic.

Looks like he wins! Damn. Maybe there’s hope after all.

Chabon on MFA programs and being a little shit

This is interesting. Michael Chabon was a student of my father’s in the UCI MFA program more than 20 years ago. He’s been a family friend since, and I also admire his writing.

In his website column this week he writes about the value of the program. He’s given props to my dad before by name, many times, which was gratifying. This is more interesting. He talks about the phenomenon of being “a little shit” as he says he was, or more particularly a talented by self-absorbed young privileged man, and then being dumped into a group of peers who were talented and also different: older, more experienced, more mature, and more than half of them female.

Food for thought, especially on the topic of male literary misogyny. Oh, and I see it was published in Details, the magazine of little shits everywhere.

Mail your child to Nickelodeon

I was at the arrivals level of LAX Terminal 4 today, waiting for my mother to get off her plane. There were some women in brightly colored cheerful clothing there at an information station with brightly colored cheerful signs. At first I thought it said “Kid Check” and I got the phear. On closer examination it was “Kids’ Choice Awards”. I guess there were unaccompanied children arriving to take part in this Nickelodeon event.

The women in the cheerful teachery outfits were rushing about talking on walkie talkies and with stern men in suits and it was all very professional-looking. I guess that’s a good idea so that little Mortimer and Britney-Anne don’t get snatched up by the local CHUDs and ground up into hapless little pedo-burgers.

This is a weird town.

ITEMS

  1. Reading an article about the Iraq war in The Economist today, I aw in an interview with a U.S. officer that the euphemism “force” for “killing people” has now been replaced with the euphemism for “force”: “kinetics”. Please make a note of it.
  2. My cat is hungry all the time, yet barfs a lot. She’s seriously like a dog now in that every time I get up she assumes it’s food time. I’m thinking we’re not feeding her enough, but I don’t want her to get fat again. Worry.
  3. In Nightmare Come to Life news, Floridians with soft contact lenses are getting EYE FUNGUS INFECTIONS AAA AA AAIIIIIIGGH.
  4. Check out the world champion of fast drawing!
  5. In the latest Grim Meathook News, the CDC’s Morbidity & Mortality Report documents the Worst Reeboks Ever. Yeesh.
  6. Soon you’ll be able to get the awesome Google Earth in your car.
  7. The headline of the day is: MAN CONVICTED FOR SHOOTING ROBOT MOOSE.
  8. Fans of the over-the-top crazy soap Passions will be delighted with their new website. I think this is the first time I’ve seen the Crack House font since Diablo.
  9. If you wonder whether the government is going to get your weblogs, consult this list of subpoena’d ISPs and sites.

I suggest a fire

I didn’t get out of the house as soon as I wanted tonight and missed seeing mahakala. I hope you had fun with people, etc.

I arrived to the D’s ghost town. There was only one employee left, and Michelle had come in to help him. She wasn’t even wearing the company uniform, just making coffee. The manager was AWOL. It’s an ex business, which is an odd thing to be around. People do stuff, like make and sell items and clean up, but with a kind of languid, detached air.

Outside, Dr. Goggles and Brandon-the-musician were firing up a hookah. This was observed by various little kids on their way to the ice cream place. They hookah’d a bit with Ashley & Matt. I don’t hookah.

Someone should just stop by from Corporate and power down that place and order up a wrecking crew. It’s done.

I got the box and put things in it that would make me happy.

Oh boy, the truth is out. Jeff Eaton, a good friend of mine for years, has given in and revealed his fabulous 700 Club appearance!

See Jeff in a 1990 style kidmullet! See Jeff interview the audience! See Jeff interview the host and ask pointed questions about her life tragedy! See the very tightly wrapped host, who appears to be at the end of a diet pill/cooking sherry tailspin! See the host’s Beverly Hills Admiral Lady outfit and perfectly triangular Alice-From-Dilbert hair! Experience a truly robotic child model with a vast forehead! Christian muppets! Learn about the wondrous miracle of the HAPPY BOX, the most innovative business idea in West Alabama!

I hadn’t known they had a Christian Aquarium version of the Cosby Show. Nor that it was possible to sing Christmas carols in an Elmer Fudd voice on a Christian TV show and not be shot dead.

See Acid-Washed-Jeans Nation family and their 6 year old kid who insists on sending her own money to Pat Robertson! Oh dear.

One thing I noticed was the overall sweetness of the show. Of course this was a kids’ special version, but there’s no craziness and bile and hate, just saccharine stories about people being pleasantly holy, and appeals for cash. The big TV Culture War hadn’t started yet.

Cute little black sitcom girl ended up doing porn after some financial reverses and poor decisions, apparently. Ow, two cheers for being a pretty girl in America. Huge-forehead child beauty queen became a medium-grade Christian Beauty Queen (“Former Cover Girl for Dr. Glenda Payas Dentistry brochures, ads and website”). Shiela flipped her lid and quit TV. And Jeff? Well, he became a dangerously liberal blogger. You can’t win ’em all, Pat.