halloween sucks

for the following reasons:

1. Excess candy consumption
2. Adults stealing kids’ holiday
3. Excess beer consumption
4. Auto vs. Pedestrian/Pediatric trauma
5. Stupid costumes at work
6. Increasingly gory and bizarre front yard displays (hanged man, tombstone) in my suburban neighborhood
7. Lame-ass ad tie-ins for every product (mattresses, used cars) just like at Christmas
8. Mallgoths
9. “Vampires”
10. Teenagers “trick or treating” by doing what they always do (drinking, having sex on the lawn) except in lame costumes

This concludes my scroogey rant.