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By substitute on August 5, 2010
The mechanical fish wants us to return the fast-food meal consisting of dismembered and reconstituted real fish that has been fried and then frozen and then reheated and sold at a McDonalds. How are we to respond? Is this a Scrooge/Marley scenario? Is the mechanical fish a vengeful ghost? Can we “give back” this item […]
By substitute on July 17, 2010
The stuffed animal on the tow hitch.
By substitute on August 20, 2007
They’re gasoline-powered inline skates! Via McClatchy’s China Rises newsblog, which says: The skates have a 25cc engine and a small fuel tank behind the right heel, and are controlled by a handheld throttle. But there is no brake! The only way of stopping is a waist-level shut-off button that kills the motor. Skaters likely then […]
By substitute on August 17, 2007
To master the challenges of the future, I require a Hyper Lethal Mini Robotic Attack Helicopter or two. Enjoy the breathless prose of the war-machine lover: Developed to be utilized as a tactical hunter/killer unmanned helicopter (mini-helicopter) a.k.a. unmanned combat armed rotorcraft (UCAR) for search-and-destroy missions and convoy security/force protection missions, the weaponized NRI AutoCopter […]
By substitute on July 27, 2007
There is a miniature train for children, of the kind found in amusement parks, driving around my neighborhood making loud fake train noises. I’ll try to get MEDIA DOCUMENTATION if it comes by again.
By substitute on May 10, 2007
I own a strange object. It is a plastic ball about the size of a baseball, with a hole in it, a dial, and some lettering identifying it as a “treat ball.” Like other such objects, it’s intended to amuse animals by leading them to poke at the ball and get treats. The twist with […]
By substitute on December 27, 2006
The reliably informative Exploding Aardvark has a roundup of 581% inappropriate toys for girls. If I had a 9 year old she would not get any of this shit. Major points for the phrase “girl power index” and the sentence “Next year, Disney Fairies will be rolled out in earnest.” Yet another example of the […]
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bling, children, christwhatanasshole, commerce, disneyfairies, explodingaardvark, feminism, gender, girlpower, marketing, no, princess, princesstute, sex, sluttynoun, theonion, toys, villainy | 22 Responses
By substitute on June 9, 2006
…and how! I have Space Invaders Shoes now. They are invading your space. Please note the sole, which imprints an invader and “One Point” as I walk. I found these after my original quest for the limited edition Space Invaders Vans shoes ended in failure; they were apparently a Japan only very limited thing.
By substitute on May 28, 2006
By substitute on March 28, 2006
Especially for changeng, a kindred spirit for you, Dan Deacon. http://www.cs.rpi.edu/~leak/dan-on-nbc/ is him on the TV. Wow. Thanks, explosivo! This is, um, insane. Um, the casiotone okay but the glasses and then the, uh, singing. Okay gonna watch it again.