Tag: phear

Happy Halloween, everyone!

DEVIL FACIAL TUMOR DISEASE – AUSTRALIA (TASMANIA)(02)
**********************************************
A ProMED-mail post

ProMED-mail, a program of the
International Society for Infectious Diseases

Date: 24 Oct 2006
From: Pablo Nart
Source: ABC [edited]

The Tasmanian Government has acknowledged the outbreak of the devil
facial tumor disease in a wildlife park in the state’s north is a
serious setback to the preservation of the species. The state’s chief
veterinary officer has been sent to the Trowunna Wildlife Park at
Mole Creek to try to determine the cause of the outbreak.

Tests for devil facial tumor disease came back positive late last
week for 2 devils at the park.

It is the first time the disease has been found in a wildlife park.

The animals, a 4-year-old male and a 5-year-old female, were bred at
the park and are now in isolation.

Alex Schaap of the Primary Industries and Water Department says the
intrusion of a wild devil is the most likely explanation for the outbreak.

“The discovery of infected devils in that captive population is a
blow because we have a number of devils in captivity which are now at
risk of the disease. That doesn’t mean that other devils in captivity
are at risk,” he said.

The 4 devils sent to Denmark as a gift to celebrate the birth of
Denmark’s Prince Christian came from Trowunna.

DEAR STUART: I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT THE BUNNY

Dear changeng:

Bunny.

Bunny Maintenance

Please explain:

  1. Your bunny.
  2. Why the bunny slowly gyrates some times but not other times.
  3. Why the bunny’s crotch is mic’d.
  4. What the bunny maintenance procedure is that you’re performing above.
  5. Why the bunny performed only during a Doors song.

Thanks in advance,

Your terrified audience, substitute

P.S. I know you say you haven’t read it, but I keep thinking about Leisuretown

THE SUGAR BEET HAS GONE INSANE

Rhizomania, also called “root madness” or “crazy root,” has caused significant losses in root and sugar yield. […] The most obvious symptom of rhizomania is a mass of fine, hairy secondary roots that consists of a mixture of dead and healthy roots. […] The disease is so infectious that even a few grams of infected soil can eventually spread to infect entire fields.
crazy root

This is how it will look, folks.

Pete gave me the update on that crazy “let’s simulate a pandemic including all the creepy quarantine arrests” story. The best paragraph in the new story:

Walsh said the drill didn’t apparently alarm area residents because county officials didn’t receive any calls, but she added that the investigators reported that small groups of curious people gathered to watch the actors be cuffed with plastic handcuffs and taken away in unmarked cars.

Oh hey great. When they take me to Camp Halliburton, there will be a small group of curious people watching.

http://www.thedailystar.com/news/stories/2006/05/24/drill1.html

On a very special episode of “The X-Files”…

Delaware to test response to flu outbreak

By Patricia Breakey
Delhi News Bureau

DELHI — Don’t panic if you see officials wearing masks and gloves taking people into custody in Delhi. It’s just a pandemic-flu isolation and quarantine drill being staged by several Delaware County and state agencies.

Mandy Walsh, Delaware County Public Health preparedness program coordinator, said the drill will be held from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Tuesday.

“We don’t want people to be alarmed,” Hamilton said. “We are just trying to be prepared.”

[ … ]

“The law-enforcement personnel will be wearing protective equipment,” Walsh said. “People may see unmarked cars driven by people with masks and gloves. They will be knocking on doors and serving orders.”

Walsh said the respirator masks cover the nose and mouth and have canisters on the sides, which give them the appearance of a gas mask. Some of the volunteers have been instructed to resist the court order, so people may see someone being taken from their home unwillingly and a scuffle may occur, Walsh said.

[…]

From http://www.thedailystar.com/news/stories/2006/05/22/dt7.html via trinnitl

Mail your child to Nickelodeon

I was at the arrivals level of LAX Terminal 4 today, waiting for my mother to get off her plane. There were some women in brightly colored cheerful clothing there at an information station with brightly colored cheerful signs. At first I thought it said “Kid Check” and I got the phear. On closer examination it was “Kids’ Choice Awards”. I guess there were unaccompanied children arriving to take part in this Nickelodeon event.

The women in the cheerful teachery outfits were rushing about talking on walkie talkies and with stern men in suits and it was all very professional-looking. I guess that’s a good idea so that little Mortimer and Britney-Anne don’t get snatched up by the local CHUDs and ground up into hapless little pedo-burgers.

This is a weird town.