Irvine is a land of contrasts.

Under its combed lawns, Irvine holds down a mad carnival of Bosch, Max Ernst, Seraphinianus. Pressure makes it leak.

The teeth of Geraldo.

CELEBRITY TEETH! From a waiting room at a large dental laboratory. They have a showcase of these. Many.

this path does not work This phenomenon is all too common in Irvine. Why? Why is there a careful path to nothing? WHY, IRVINE?

Welcome to Irvine. Here’s your trollop.

Apparently if you move into this apartment complex you are immediately confronted with the pool scene from Wild Things, or maybe Swimming Pool, or any other cool, chlorine-scented sex romp with an epicene cheekbony beauty you might have in mind. I’ll take Grace Kelly in Rimini, please.

Also, “The Village”. ‘Nuff said.