ITEMS!

  • There is a nest of baby scorpions living in the left side of my sinuses. So-called “medical professionals” tell me it’s the common cold, but I know better. No little virus could cause this throbbing ache, effusion of mucus, and spasmodically weak jaw muscle. I expect them to burst through my left eye socket and wave their happy claws at the sun sometime tomorrow.
  • La Brea Bakery sourdough, heated, with butter, does a lot to make life more livable.
  • After the scorpions come out tomorrow I think I’m gonna go on a little photo expedition. Where should I go?