18 responses to “Breaking news is neither”

  1. dmlaenker

    I remember when the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot decided to finally put its Twitter account to use… by stalking Michael Vick’s house on the day of his release from prison.

    Funny, because the news I want about southeastern Virginia tends to go along the lines of MAJOR BRAC RE-ALIGNMENT or SHIPYARD TO CLOSE or PAT ROBERTSON EATS YET MORE BABIES. Well, maybe not the last bit, but still.

    In any case, I dropped their account, because I’m fucking tired of this man-bites-dog bullshit. If print media has any kind of future, this isn’t it.

  2. hoyvenmayven

    I get those too, those news alerts, from CNN. Worthless. The Christmas Day Almost-Bombing Of Detroit, I got four identical texts from them over the course of two hours. It wasn’t even anything really illuminating, either. (They never are, as you point out.)

    I think it’s worth putting up with the crap, though, because when the shit finally does hit the fan, we will be among the first to know. (Assuming the shit doesn’t involve the internet going down or us all dying before we can get to our iPhones.)

  3. sugarcollider

    Badly needing to exercise to alleviate brain fog. Now also craving brown saffron rice. Waiting for the chip they will graft directly into my optic nerve so I can blink the news ticker in my left eye on and off at will.

  4. stimps

    Twitter is all I can handle with BREAKING ANYTHING.

    We had some good leftover indian food. I’m cold because I cut my haaaar off. We have to take Una to the vet tomorrow to see about her New Bump. So overall, pretty good but nervous. =)

    Craving GREEN SALSA.

  5. capn_jil

    i am so tired. had guests for many days during which much fun was had but little was accomplished and i spent yesterday asleep; dreaming of returning to a regular schedule but i don’t think that’s going to happen for a while yet. on the other hand all the busy shit is in service of excellent plans. but it will be so nice to sit ass down again.

  6. mallorys_camera

    “News” as the ultimate marketing tool…

  7. fattmike

    I heated a can of Progresso Chicken Barley soup at 10PM last night. I then proceeded to ingest it. Film at 11.

  8. rpkrajewski

    Something is happening somewhere !

  9. besskeloid

    1. leolo

      There was an old man from Quebec
      Got buried in snow to his neck
      When asked “are you firz?”
      He replied “yes I is,
      But we don’t call THIS cold in Quebec!”

    2. torgo_x

      Crawl, I say, CRAWL!

      I’d give my left nut for someone to sneak this in
      as a crawl on CNN-etc:

       
       

      George Carlin- “The Secret News”

      Here is the Secret News:

      All people are afraid

      No one knows what they’re doing.

      Everything is getting worse.

      Some people deserve to die.

      Your money is worthless.

      No one is properly dressed.

      At least one of your children will disappoint you.

      The system is rigged.

      Your house will never be completely clean.

      All teachers are incompetent.

      There are people who really dislike you.

      Nothing is as good as it seems.

      Things don’t last.

      No one is paying attention.

      The country is dying.

      God doesn’t care.

      Shhhhh.

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